Who Typically Pays For A Bridal Shower
Today its the maid of honor and bridal party or the bride or grooms mother who throws the bridal shower. Typically, whoever throws the event is the one must cover the costs. Often, the maid of honor and her fellow bridesmaids throw the bridal shower and pay for it, and the mother of the bride contributes.
Are You Inviting More Than Half The Office
When inviting coworkers, Smith refers to the rule of half. If you are inviting close to half of the work groupor half of those in a small officeyou should be inviting everyone, she says. If youre inviting less than a third of the work group and are excluding more coworkers than you are inviting, then you dont need to extend an invitation to everyone.
Who To Invite To A Wedding: Etiquette And Questions To Ask Yourself
Narrowing down the guest list is one of the most stressful parts of planning a wedding. Its a little more complicated than simply making a list of everyone youd like to celebrate with. There are people youll have to invite, others you really want to skip, and those who may or may not make the cut, depending on your venues capacity.
But when a couple is asking themselves whom to invite to their wedding, they shouldn’t feel obligated to add someone they’ve never met to their list. To help you decide who to invite to your wedding, we’re sharing wedding guest list etiquette, plus questions you should ask yourself to decide who to invite to your wedding straight from the experts.
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Whittle Down Your List A Bit More
As your making the final cuts, its time to ask yourself the big question. Will this person make your wedding day better or worse? We all have family members that start drama or friends who party too hard. You have to decide if the possible stress of having them there is worth inviting them to your wedding.
Maybe this person will make your wedding more memorable. If they make it memorable, make sure its in a positive way. Dont take someone off your guest list if youre going to regret not having them there. The regret will be worse than just biting the bullet and inviting them.
The final question when deciding who to invite to your wedding is if you can afford it. Every plate is incredibly expensive, and the price will soar as you include more people. Will their presence at your wedding be worth the money it costs to have them there? Weddings are expensive enough already, so cut the people you dont want there and get a photo booth instead.
Wedding Guest List Tips For The Most Indecisive
- Do I really want this person there? Its a gut feeling. You either do or you dont. Whats your first instinct when you imagine greeting this person on your wedding day?
- Would I want to be invited to this persons wedding if they were the one getting married?If the answer is yes, invite them. If not, cross them off.
- How do I feel when I take this person off the list? Sometimes we leave people on the wedding guest list just because we put them on during our initial brainstorming session. If youre on the fence about someone, try crossing them off. Did you feel relieved or guilty? This can help you determine your gut feeling.
- Can I recreate my list from memory? Without looking at your original draft, rewrite your side of the wedding guest list from memory. Who didnt make it onto the new version? Maybe these people are not as important as you think they are.
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Friends Of Your Parents Or In
You can’t dodge the fact that both sets of ‘rents will want to pencil in their own guest list requests , but draw the line if it’s a member of their social circle you’ve never encountered before. Just know that some circumstances, say your father-in-law’s business partner, may warrant an exception based on the nature of the relationship.
Who You Should And Shouldnt Invite To Your Wedding
Its ultimately up to you, your spouse, and the people covering the cost of your wedding to decide. No one besides the members of that group of people can come up with a list that is perfect for you. Only you know each individuals dynamics, relationships, and situations, so keep that in mind. The list below is just a suggestion, so feel free to do as you wish for your big day.
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How Can We Include Friends Not In The Bridal Party At The Celebration
There are plenty of ways to include more close friends and family. Have them serve as greeters at the ceremony, pass out programs, or even save a special time for them to give a toast. You may want some to share readings during the ceremony. If a guest has a particular skill, such as public speaking, consider having that person emcee part or all of the reception. And, of course, any friends and family can hang out while you get ready. Just stock some extra champagne and whiskey.
These Are The Guests That Should Make The Cut
If you’re having trouble deciding where to start when it comes to your wedding guest list or knowing who you need to invite and who you don’t we’re here to help!
Your first order of business when planning your wedding is to finalize your guest list and sometimes, this is actually the hardest part! Not only do you and your fiancé need to decide who you want to witness your special day, but you also need to consider family obligations, who your parents want to invite, and etiquette rules, all within the confines of your wedding budget and venue capacity. Luckily, there are a few wedding guest list rules that should put your mind at ease. Remember: There are few people you are required to invite. At the end of the day, your wedding day should be filled with friends and family who make you happy and are happy for you!
Read on to discover the people you don’t need to invite, as well as the people who should receive an invitation. Once the invites are in the mail, breathe a sigh of relief, cross that item off your to-do list, and have confidence in your selections!
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People You Mailed A Save
Imagine your friend’s confusion and disappointment when she receives a save-the-date card in the mail, but never gets an actual invitation. It doesn’t matter if your wedding budget changed, your large venue fell through, or you decided to replace some guests with others it’s incredibly rude to tell someone they’ll be invited and then take it back. Do not send out save the dates until you have finalized your guest list, because everyone who gets a save the date gets a wedding invitation. Of course, the pandemic altered this for couples who were forced to cut their guest list down to honor regulations and restrictions. There are certainly exceptions, but generally, the advice above holds true.
Children Under A Certain Age
Whether or not to invite children can be touchy, especially for parents who need to plan. However, giving parents ample advance notice ensures that they can find a sitter. A big sticking point for some couples is the question of whether or not to include children, reminds Nudo. Of course, some weddings offer a wonderful time for both adults and children to celebrate together.
Also, think about the time and style of your event. Kids may do ok at a casual afternoon event. Conversely, a late-night open bar dance party may not be conducive to littles. Still, there are some weddings that are not quite appropriate for children to attend, so determining this early on and making it clear to all guests that the celebration is for adults only is important, suggests Nudo.
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How To Talk Through Invite Disagreements With Your Future Spouse
The trouble can arise in two ways: when your list starts butting up against your budget or when the two of you disagree on whether certain people should come or not.
The first thing to do is ask why the person should be at the wedding, says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today.Take time to listen. Your fiancé will either realize during the explanation that the person isnt so important, or you may realize its OK. Dont get into whos right or wrong. Remind your intended of the budget, and work out a deal.
Ketteler, meanwhile, notes that its important to identify the emotions underlying the situation before any disagreements get too heated.
Im not really talking about the emotion at the top of everything, like anger that your partner doesnt agree with you, but rather, the emotions you may or may not be recognizing like jealousy, shame, or compassion, she says. Unnamed emotions are the hardest ones to deal with, and cause you to double down the most. If you and your partner find yourself stuck and unable to agree, its time to lay those emotions right out there on the table so you each know what youre dealing with for real.
Determine Your Vip List
These are the people that you absolutely want to have at your wedding, no matter how small of a guest list youre working with. Think about those people that were the very first ones you couldn’t wait to tell about your engagement, says Hardtman. They are likely the same ones that you have very regular conversations with, so they are the ones you should add to your list first. Its wise to reach out to these individuals to confirm that theyre available on the date you intend to get married. Doing so will help you determine how many additional guests you can still invite.
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Every Single Person On Your Parents’ Guest List
This obviously depends on your cultural practices in many traditions, everyone the newlyweds and their parents know is invited to attend. But if your guest list isn’t influenced by cultural norms, and you see names on your parents’ lists that you’re not comfortable with, it’s time to have a talk with them. Go over their list and discuss who you’re not comfortable inviting and why. While you shouldn’t feel forced to invite anyone, your parents will appreciate being able to have a few of their friends at the celebration . So figure out a compromise everyone can live with.
What Happens At A Rehearsal Dinner
Aside from eating good food and enjoying a drink, rehearsal dinners typically include speeches. Its custom for the host of the event to give a welcome speech to guests, and its also common for the couple to say thanks to everyone for coming and sharing a few words. The parents of the couple may be inclined to give a toast too, as may the maid of honor or best man.
Its also nice for the couple to give out little thank-you gifts to bridal party members at the rehearsal dinner. While not mandatory, its an opportunity to thank everyone for helping make your day so special.
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Who Gets A Plus One
One of the most complicated parts of planning a wedding guest list is deciding who gets a plus one. There are people who will definitely come with a partner, such as married friends or engaged friends. These guests should all receive invitations with their names on them, even for those with spouses or fiances that you dont know very well. As for all your single friends, youll want to handle those on a case-by-case basis. For example, you might have a friend who has been with the same boyfriend for years, so she would receive a plus one on her invitation. Or maybe you have a friend who is on her third boyfriend of the year. If you cannot accommodate a plus one for her, you can invite just her and let her know that due to your budget and venue size you arent able to include a guest for her. Then, when you are working on seating arrangements, you can seat all your single guests together so that they wont feel awkward sitting with only couples.
Photo Credit: Wedding Ideas Mag
Keep in mind that if there are any guests in long term relationships, it would be much kinder to write their boyfriends/girlfriends name on the invitation instead of plus one or and guest. If possible, try to include peoples names on the invitations if you know for certain that theyll be the guest attending.
Photo Credit: Dream Likes
People Who Could Bring Or Cause Drama
In general, when considering who not to invite, I always suggest avoiding those that cause family drama or seek to make situations about themselves, says Ryncarz. The wedding day can already be stressful as you think about timelines and the emotions surrounding the commitment itself. Therefore, avoid drama and conflict at all costs.
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Guests You Don’t Think Will Be Able To Come
This is a tricky one. If you have a friend who won’t be able to attend say, she has a work event she can’t get out of sending an invite anyway can come across like you’re fishing for gifts. However, they might feel hurt if you don’t formally invite them and want to have the invitation as a keepsake. So, send invites to those you genuinely would love to have at your wedding no matter what, like family and close friends. And you never know they might end up being able to go after all!
Start Planning Your Wedding
Once you have your wedding guest list, you can start planning the rest of your wedding, such as finding your venue! For many venues, your wedding guest list numbers may limit your options, either due to limited capacity or too few guests to fill their space. However, you dont have to worry about this with Oxford Town Hall!
The stunning historic building has gorgeous rooms that are suitable for more intimate ceremonies from 30 to 140 guests, as well as a magnificent Main Hall seating up to 500 for ceremonies. So, however many wedding guests you end up with on your list, Oxford Town Hall can accommodate your wedding vision and give you the special day that youve been dreaming of.
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