How To Rsvp By Post To A Wedding Invitation
Weddings are special and enjoyable events, however they also come with certain etiquette and expectations. We wanted to provide some suggested wording and guidance on how to reply to a wedding invitation.
Responding
Upon receiving a wedding invitation, it is common to read Répondez s’il vous plaît or R.S.V.P. towards the bottom of the invitation. Translated, it literally means ‘Respond if you please’, and the desired response is for you to let the hosts know your response to whether you can attend, or not, and perhaps some other questions they ask.
These days there is all manner of methods for how the host would like to receive the response email, wedding websites, response cards or no preferred method.
While you should always endeavour to use the method prescribed by the host, a handwritten response as a standalone or, in addition to the prescribed manner is a beautiful way to leave an impression with the host – remember, they are very excited about their big day and it is wonderful to see someone take the time to echo that excitement.
Timing
Responses help the hosts keep track of the guest list, which is an important and often stressful part of the wedding planning process. Therefore when invited to a wedding a guests duty is to respond promptly confirming your attendance or regrets.
Style & Examples
Formal Responses
Dear, accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr and Mrs John Harristo the wedding reception of their daughter Sarah & Tom Duncan. Yours Sincerely,
Write Out Your Full Name
Weddings are often formal events and, with that formality, comes properly addressing people by their full name on place cards and escort cards. If the name that is on your wedding invitation isn’t accurate, the reply card is your time to provide your preferred full name.
Mary Guido, founder and owner of , a luxury wedding planning studio based in Washington, DC, advises “Carefully fill out the response card with your most beautiful handwriting.” If there is only a first letter “M” next to a blank line, fill out the card with the correct honorific, followed by your full name and your guest’s. If the line is blank, write out your full, preferred name, including honorific, as well as your guest’s name.
Online Wedding Rsvp Wording
If you’re asking your guests to RSVP online, you don’t need to include an RSVP card, but a website may look out of place at the bottom of your formal wedding invites. Include a small card with the RSVP information on it instead.
Examples:
1. Kindly respond by September 10th
Using the following website:
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Express Excitement Over Their Attendance
If just staying in touch isn’t enough, you can use a heavier hand and bring the wedding up. While you don’t have to actually bring up the wedding RSVP deadline, you can casually mention in conversation how much you’re hoping they’ll be able to come. They’ll be flattered and it will further remind them that they need to check their schedule and give you an answer.
How Do You Limit Guests On Rsvp
Your guests have to write in a number in the blank space before the number with the number coming, then fill in the bottom. If the RSVP is a no, the guests will write 0 of 2 will attend and then check the will be celebrating from afar section. Your other option is to let your envelope do the talking.
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When Should You Make The Deadline For Rsvps
Especially when youâre planning a wedding, setting a deadline for RSVPs is crucial. A good rule of thumb is to set your RSVP deadline two to three weeks before your event. Lean closer to the three-week mark for formal events like weddings. And lean closer to the two-week mark for casual events like backyard barbecues. If you sent your invitations out six weeks before your party, this gives friends and family ample time to look at their social calendar and make a decision on how theyâll RSVP.
How Do You Respond To An Rsvp
In todayâs world of lax decorum, an RSVP might not earn the respect it used to, but donât let sâil vous plaît fool you: good manners still require a reply. Any time you are invited to any event, whether itâs a formal wedding invitation or a casualbirthday party invitation, that instructs you to RSVP, be sure to respond before the deadline.
Exactly how do you RSVP to a party? The ways are limitless! Call, write, text, email, or respond on Paperless Post to let the host know if youâre attending or not. If âregrets onlyâ is added, tell the host if you canât make itâotherwise, you are expected to attend.
Obviously this all can get a bit confusing for both host and guests, so itâs good to be prepared. Asave the date is a great way to give guests a heads-up to keep their calendar clear for important events like weddings, anniversary parties, or milestone birthdays.
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What Are Rsvp Cards
Otherwise known as reply cards or response cards, RSVP cards are separate inserts that are included as part of a wedding invitation suite. They usually match or complement the design of the invitation and often come with their own pre-addressed and stamped envelope so that they can be easily returned to the event hosts. Nowadays, postcard-style RSVP cards, a less-expensive alternative, are trending.
For more informal events, like birthday parties, bridal showers, engagement parties, and more, RSVP cards aren’t necessary. A host’s email address or phone number may be printed on the invitation itself, so that guests can RSVP directly. There are also some invitations that read “RSVP, regrets only,” which means that if the guest is assumed to be attending the event unless they reply otherwise.
What If Your Plans Change
Once youve RSVP-ed, theres nothing left to do but wait until the big day arrives. However, life is full of surprises. You may find that your plans change and you need to tell the couple that you can no longer attend their wedding. Handling this matter delicately is key. Keep in mind that they will have already made arrangements for you ahead of time.
As soon as you know that your circumstances have changed, reach out to the couple. While you want to avoid an overly-complicated explanation, you should include a reason.
You also want to include a sincere apology as part of this message. Be certain to tailor this letter or email to your circumstances and be as earnest as possible.
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How To Address Wedding Rsvp Cards
Follow these tips on the proper way to address your wedding RSVP cards:
- Always pre-address and stamp the envelopes. As part of the wedding stationery suite, wedding response cards come with their own matching envelopes, which should be pre-addressed and stamped. This also applies if youre sending out a wedding RSVP postcard.
- Consider the formality and style of your wedding day. Address your cards according to the formality and theme of your wedding day, just as you would address your wedding invitation envelopes.
- Pick the right return address. Theres many reasons the return address for your RSVP cards might not match the return address for your main invitation. The return address you use for your response cards should be the address of the person in charge of collecting your replies. Whether its the bride, groom, or a designated family member, this person knows theyre responsible for gathering the cards and keeping track of the final guest list. The return address for your main wedding invitation, however, should be the hosts address and/or the place you want your gifts to end up.
- Dont forget the stamp. A pre-addressed and stamped RSVP card envelope is not only a courteous gesture, but also helpful to you. With a stamp included, guests are more likely to drop the card in the mail on time before the RSVP date. To stay in harmony with your wedding day scheme, use the same stamp you place on your main invitation.
Send Your Invitations Eight Weeks Before The Wedding
Etiquette says that invitations should be sent eight weeks before the wedding. That gives four to five weeks to respond so that you can make your RSVP date three to four weeks before the wedding. The timing is crucialif you give guests more time than that, its likely the invitation will get put aside in the things to deal with later pile. If it doesnt seem urgent that they RSVP, they wont. But less time than that wont give you time to track down the delinquent guests, or time to give a final number to your caterer by their deadline.
Check out our post on Wedding Invitation and Stationery Ideas
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Where Can I Buy Rsvp Cards
When you can, try to order your entire invitation suite at once from your stationer. This doesn’t just make the process simplerit also ensures all your paper goods will coordinate. If you’re ordering online, try The Knot Invitations which offers a wide array of styles, colors and themes to choose from.
What Does The M Means On A Wedding Rsvp
On more formal wedding invitations, the name line is often preceded by a capital letter M. What does this mean, and more importantly, what is it for? Its actually pretty simple. The M indicates that guests should fill out the line for their names with their proper title: Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss.
- For example: M r. Shawn Jay-Z Carter & Mrs. Beyoncé Knowles-Carter
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What Do You Do When Guests Dont Rsvp
Easy! You need to contact those people who have yet to reply and find out if they will be attending.
The simplest way is to make a phone call. All you have to say is, Hi ______. Were looking forward to seeing you at our wedding, but havent gotten your RSVP back yet. Will you be able to make it? Also ask their desired menu selections if you are offering a choice of entrée options.
Its easy to get irritated when guests dont RSVP, but dont say anything like, You havent sent the RSVP card back, because they may have, but it got lost in the mail. .
Theres also an off chance that they never received your invitation in the first place. Again, it may have gotten lost in the mail, or the address you have for them is incorrect.
Anyway, stick to Were looking forward to celebrating with you. Will you be there?
Make sure you get a definite yes or no, not a maybe. Your caterer needs definite numbers, not maybes.
If you feel that if you make the calls yourself that you will end up stuck in big conversations, enlist for help of others to make some phone calls for you. Family members, your bridesmaids, and your wedding planner can all call on your behalf.
If you are an invited guest, here are a few helpful hints for you to remember.
* Reply as soon as possible. Dont put the invitation in your to do pile unless you need to ask the availability of another person whose name may be on the invitation with yours.
Mailed Invitation With Rsvp Card
Fill in the card and mail it back in the enclosed envelope before the date listed, or preferably as soon as you receive it. Check to see if the event allows a plus one. If it does, double check that your date can make it before you RSVP for them.
How to fill out a wedding RSVP
Wedding invitations commonly include an RSVP card and a pre-addressed envelope. The card may be as simple as writing your name and checking off a plus one and dining choices, or it may include a bit more space for a thoughtful note. If there is blank space on the card you are expected to write a note.
It is also common for a wedding RSVP card to include an M with a blank line after it. Following the M, you should write your title and name.
If you are unsure if you can bring a plus one, look to the invitation envelope to see if and guest is clearly stated. Asking to bring a guest if the wedding invitation doesnt explicitly say that you can is considered inappropriate. It may cause a strain on the happy couples finances.
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How To Choose The Right Rsvp By Date
Do you know what RSVP stands for? Its short for Répondez sil vous plait, which means please respond in French. Using the acronym RSVP is simply a tradition but choosing the right respond by date is an important decision when personalizing your wedding invitation suite.
We recommend choosing a date thats 2-4 weeks before your wedding date. Why? There are two reasons:
1. Check with Your Caterer and Venue
Typically, your caterer and venue will want an accurate headcount one to two weeks before your wedding day. Before you create your invitations, ask them for a firm date.
Now, take that date and back it up two weeks. Because
2. Expect Delays
You might give a respond by date but that doesnt mean everyone will actually respond by then. Sigh
Plan on spending some time sending texts and emails to those slackers who havent sent their respond card back to you. And remember, many guests will put the reply card in the mail back to you on the reply by date.
This is one of the most annoying parts of wedding planning and its extra stressful if you dont allow yourself a couple weeks to gather the tardy responses.
We Break it Down
Paperles Post Bird Logo
These days we tend to associate the term RSVP with Facebook, where âyesâ means âmaybe,â âmaybeâ means âno,â and ânoâ means âHow do I know you, again?â But there was once a time when an RSVP held significant social weight. You know, before you could invite 500 of your closest friends to an event with a single click. If you received a dinner party invitation that had those four letters printed neatly at the bottom of the card, failing to reply was at your own social peril.
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Wording Your Wedding Rsvp Cards
If you are finding it difficult to find the right words for your RSVP cards then do not despair! The wording of your wedding RSVP cards should match the style of your wedding invitations. So whether you are hosting a relaxed barn wedding or a formal countryside affair, you can adapt your RSVP card wording accordingly. Take a look below for a list of what to include on your response cards, along with wording ideas in both formal and informal styles.
If you still need any help with your RSVP wording then do not hesitate to get in touch with our friendly customer service team, who will be more than happy to help. Our talented proofreaders will also double check all of your RSVP wording to make sure that there are no spelling errors as part of our complimentary retouching service. This means that your RSVP cards and wedding stationery truly are in safe hands!
