Buy Yourself Some Time And Send The Gift After The Wedding
Once upon a time, guests had a whole year after the wedding to send the newlyweds their gift. In the information age, with one-click ordering and no-hassle shipping options, that timetable has shortened: Most wedding gurus suggest no more than two months.
Still, if youve got three weddings in one month, then go easy on your wallet and spread out the purchases.
Many etiquette experts suggest that sending the gift later is more convenient for the bride and groom, anyway: less chance for it to get lost among the chaos of the big day.
Do You Need To Give A Wedding Gift
As a wedding guest, there should never be any obligation or pressure to give a gift. At the end of the day, the couple has invited you because they value you as a loved one, not because theyre expecting a present.
With this being said, a gift whether thats a physical gift or a monetary donation is a thoughtful way to acknowledge this exciting milestone and celebrate the happy couple! Its also a nice gesture to show your appreciation for being invited to attend, and for the costs involved in your food and drinks for the day.
How Much To Spend On A Wedding Gift If I Am Not Attending
What to give for a wedding gift if not attending depends on your relationship with the couple. How much to give for a wedding gift is dependent on your financial disposition per time. If you have a personal relationship with the couple and cant make it, send a healthy gift.
If you feel you were a last-minute guest consideration to a couple you arent close to, send a handwritten congratulations. This may be through the RSVP. You are also saved from spending as much as you would have spent if present. A gift between $30 $40 will do.
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How to appropriately send a wedding gift in the form of a check is by addressing it to either the husband or wife. This will enable them to cash it, instead of getting a bounce at the bank due to a conflict in account details. If you have the urge to add a complimentary message, then pen it down in the part of the check allocated to comments.
It is very wrong to address a joint check to newlyweds using their new surname. That is an assumption on your part as you dont know if they will retain their individual names.
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Can You Give Cash Or A Check
“Among our brides, is not the right way to go,” Easton admits. And Howser agrees, “I would never tell someone to gift cash, it’s so impersonal. This is a wedding, not a charity gala.” But if you must”I’d never give a check,” Blum explains. “If I’m giving cash, I’m going to give cash, along with a handwritten note.”
It seems buying off the couple’s registry is by far the more cost-effective way to go. “You can give a $200 Le Creuset piece from the registry, but if you’re going to gift cash, it should be a larger amount to feel impactful,” Easton says.
Easton, Blum, and Hamilton all agree that given the impersonal nature of a cash gift, the amount needs to be substantial, to the tune of around $500. Howser recommends not gifting less than $300 if you opt to give a cash gift. The packaging also matters. “If you do give cash, it should be done in a way that’s thoughtful and has a lovely presentation to it. Present it a gorgeous envelope, or maybe have the packaging calligraphed,” Easton suggests.
On the flip side, Hamilton has had a different experience. “People do love cash. A lot of people are living together before the wedding, and so a registry feels really formal nowadays. Maybe people are registering for upgrades to their home, or fine china, but giving someone cash allows them to purchase whatever they’d like or add an upgrade to their honeymoon.”
How Much Money Should You Give As A Wedding Gift
If the couple have asked for money as a wedding gift, it can be difficult to know what the rules are. We’ve covered how much money you should give and what to expect if you’re going to a wedding from a different culture.
Cash gifts are becoming more popular at weddings as couples move away from asking for traditional homeware items. When a couple already live together, it might make more sense to save up for a big purchase like a home deposit, future children, a new car or even a once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon.
But it can be tough to know exactly how much money to give. Choosing a fancy candle they put on their wedding gift list is one thing, but handing someone cash – where they’ll know exactly how much you gave – can feel like a minefield. Some people have rules, like to cover the cost of your meal or to give equal to what they gave you, but others factor in how much they’ve paid in hotels and travel and give much less. So what exactly should you give?
If you’ve been asked to bring a cash gift to the wedding or to contribute to a honeymoon fund online, we’ve broken down what’s expected of you below. There’s ideas for what to do if you feel uncomfortable about giving money and some hints for the best ways for couples to go about asking for cash gifts.
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Suggestion : Give A Gift From The Heart
Great idea, but the reality is not so easy to follow. The nice thing about money is that once youve decided how much to give, your work is done. You dont have to worry about whether the gift is exactly right, or whether they have one already. And what if you dont have anything in your heart for this couple? What if theyre distant cousins, or work friends, or the children of your college roommate? What if you dont really care about them at all? Thats why God invented hundred dollar bills.
Do I Have To Buy A Wedding Gift For A Destination Wedding
“While there are no hard and fast rules, there is a general understanding that their presence at the wedding can absolutely be their gift. You have to remember that your guests are presumably taking time off from work and arranging childcare, so theyve already invested quite a bit. With that being said, if an attendee chooses to gift them in addition to being there, then thats absolutely fine,” says Carlson.
If you do want to get them a wedding gift but youre strapped for cash right after spending on the flights and hotels, you can always wait until later to get them a wedding gift. Whatever the timing, theyll always appreciate it.
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How Late Can I Give A Wedding Gift
Some will say that you have up to a year to purchase a wedding gift, but best practice is to always buy and send gifts before the wedding day or within 3 months of the nuptials. Any longer and youre likely to forget. Plus, its more convenient for the couple to manage receiving gifts sooner rather than later.
Still have questions? Our registry advisors are just a call or email away. Happy gift giving, wedding guests!
How Much You Should Spend On A Wedding Gift If:
Youre an All-Day Guest: £50-£75
Some people base their gift on the approximate cost that the couple will pay for their wedding meal, but this is by no means a rule. £50-£75 is a common amount to spend on a friends wedding if you have been invited for the whole day and will be very gratefully received. Only give what you can comfortably afford, and if it something meaningful to the couple then it does not need to cost the higher end of this bracket. Diane recommends to always include a thoughtful and heartfelt card with every gift.
READ MORE: What to Write in a Wedding Card to the Happy Couple
Youre Just an Evening Guest: £25-£50
If you have been invited to the evening event only, many couples will state on their invite that they are not expecting gifts. If you would like to give something, then choose a gift at the cheaper end of the gift list or give a smaller financial gift. It is a lovely gesture for the couple to receive but reflects the fact you are not one of the close family or friends invited to the ceremony.
Its a Destination Wedding: £50-£75
Image: Katie Hamilton Photography
Theyre Immediate Family: £100+
Youre a Bridesmaid/Groomsman: £100+
READ MORE: 18 Rules All Wedding Guests Should Follow
Theyre Close Friends: £75+
Theyre Work Friends/Distant Relatives: £25-£50
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Relationship With Your Son
There are a lot of questions you need to answer before you decide what is a suitable gift. For example, is he your only child? Are you close to him? Does he live in a different state? Do you want to let him know how much you care by giving gifts?
Think about it: if you see each other every day, you probably feel the need to give more. On the other hand, you might not be very close, which can also affect your decision concerning gifts. A lot of factors determine the amount of money you should spend on your sons wedding, so its important to reflect on the relationship you have with him.
The Most I Spent Was 80 On A Close Friend
The amount you give depends on how well you know the person, and how good youve both been at keeping contact. For example, I went to a friends wedding last year, and was invited to the day and night do. I gifted them £80, as I couldnt really afford more after travelling down to London and having to pay for a hotel while staying there.
Ive got two more weddings this year, and Ill be gifting them different amounts. I dont actually know the bride and groom in the first wedding, but my partner does. I will probably contribute £10 to whatever my partner gives as a goodwill token.
For the second wedding, Ill probably give £30 or £40, as I know the bride but not the groom. I will not expect my partner to contribute as hes never met either of them. We also have to pay for a hotel for the night, which has worked out rather pricey.
The most I spent was the £80. I believe we were thanked via a Facebook message.
These days people get caught up in themselves. Ive noticed that they no longer thank people for birthday or Christmas presents. The world is also a lot more materialistic. A friend once told me that you were supposed to gift people an approximate value that equals what you think your meal cost. That seems like far too much work for me to bear thinking about.
- Anonymous, 26, Manchester
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Should You Spend More On A Wedding Gift If Youre Bringing A Date
If youre bringing a date to the wedding, you should spend a little more on your wedding gift to take into account that the couple will be hosting your date in the count for food and drinks. Showing up to the wedding with a second person means double the thought in gifting. You should discuss with your date in advance if theyll be chipping in on the wedding gift, and then you can plan out the perfect gift from there.
Wedding Gift Tips To Know
Before we dive into the numbers, there are few wedding gift tips all guests should keep in mind. First and foremost, you should only spend what you’re able to realistically afford. “The magic number for how much you should spend on a wedding gift depends on what fits your budget,” says Lizzie Post, Co-President of The Emily Post Institute. “You should give a gift that’s worth what you can afford to give comfortably.”
Being a wedding guest can be expensive, especially if you find yourself in a season of life where the majority of your friends and family members are tying the knot. Plus, in the aftermath of the coronavirus pandemic, couples are hosting microweddings, sequel ceremonies, vow renewals and more, all of which can add up for guests. Giving a great wedding present can feel daunting, which is why experts suggest setting a gift budget to prep for situations like this. “Setting aside a specific budget ahead of the wedding and determining your relationship with those getting married, especially in a year when you may be attending a few events, can help take the stress out of determining how much to spend on a gift,” says Alissa Van Volkom, Head of Consumer Deposits, Products and Payments at TD Bank.
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Simple Guidelines For Giving Cash As A Wedding Gift
Below are some helpful ways to determine how much to give at weddings.
Wedding Of A Family Member
Your relationship to the couple is certainly one of the biggest factors that would determine how much you should give. A good ballpark for close relatives is $150 and above. If you are however a student or an intern etc and not financially established yet, $75-$100 is fine as well.
If the couple is a family member, they most likely are aware of your financial situation and therefore would not expect or even want you to give something beyond your means.
If the wedding is of a distant family member like a second cousin etc who you havent seen in a long time. You dont have to give as much if you were a close family member but you should still gift a decent amount.
If you do attend the wedding, the gift should be above $100. If you are not planning to attend the wedding but still want to send a small token along with your good wishes it is completely fair to gift just $50.
Suggested: Should You Send A Gift When Not Attending A Wedding?
Wedding Of A Colleague
No matter if its the wedding of a beloved or not so beloved colleague, this is the time to display the best of your social manners since you have been extended a wedding invite. $50-$100 is the standard gift amount depending on if you are going to attend the wedding and your relationship with the colleague.
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A Friends Wedding
When Bringing A Guest Along
