Chinese Wedding Vows And Tea Ceremony
From ceremonial collecting of the bride from her family home to often lavish banquets after the ceremony, traditional Chinese weddings can take an entire day.
Out of the entire affair, the ceremony itself is actually one of the shorter elements. It is an intimate affair in which the couple exchanges vows and signs the official paperwork, usually with only their immediate family present. They then honour their ancestors and patron deities with ceremonial bows at the family altar and to each other.
While the actual words exchanged by the couple are often just variations of classic wedding vows mentioned earlier, Chinese weddings traditionally involve a tea ceremony or the Jing Cha.
Family is of the utmost importance to Chinese couples, and many of their wedding customs serve to honour this. From outsiders point of view, the Jing Cha is almost like exchanging vows that extend beyond the couple, to each others families.
Beginning with one partys parents, the couple kneels or bows to serve tea to each member of the family. In exchange, they are presented with gifts that serve as symbolic blessings of the union, officially welcoming the other party into the family.
The tea ceremony is a meaningful way for a couple to formally express their deep appreciation for the love and support that went into raising them as individuals.
What Are Your Top Tips For Writing Vows
When it comes to putting pen to paper , Pushkine says youre best off starting with a massive brain dump to get your ideas flowing. Try and re-live some of the most wonderful moments youve shared and the experiences that led you here. And then cut, cut and cut. The biggest tip is not to wait until the last minute to write them.
‘At a civil ceremony you cant use any religious wording’
Dsenisi also advises couples to consider their audience and practice speaking the vows out loud in the mirror before the big day so you can hear how the vows sound.
Personal vows should not add stress to your special day, so if public speaking causes anxiety for one or both of you, maybe consider printing your personal vows in your order of service booklet, rather than speaking them, or reading them to each other privately at another point in the day, she notes.
Of course, it doesnt hurt to add some personality and light-heartedness into the mix, when appropriate. Add pathos and levity in equal measure, Bird suggests. As much as making vows to each other is a serious business, you can have fun with it too and in such an emotional day, a bit of humour is essential for both you and your audience.
Wedding Vow Examples To Inspire Your Own
“Gabriel, you came into my life at exactly the right time: When I wasn’t ready, and yet, when I needed your love the most. In the past two years, we’ve experienced great triumphs and literal disasters together. These trials have pushed the boundaries of what we thought we could endure, and in the end, I feel more strongly connected with you in a resolve to get up and try again. I love you dearly for all that you are. I am amazed by your inquisitive mind and tickled by your sense of humor. I may not want to admit it, but I even love your awful puns.
You have stuck by me through the best and worst and loved all that I am. You help me to be the finest version of me that I can.
As your wife, I promise to love you with the same determination and confidence you’ve given me. I vow to support you through more ups and downs. I pledge to commit myself to our family and the good I know will grow from it. I promise this all to you until I am no more.”Marissa
“Marissa, I love you with all my heart. I have been thankful for these past two years that you were not the best driver on that fateful day. Stopping in the middle of a busy 90/04 to see if everyone was okay, there I met the woman who is standing before me today. When we started dating, I gained a family, a woman who loves me, and an adorable whippetboth of whom I adore with all my heart. We have survived trials and tribulations, from Hurricane Irma to differing political views, we have pulled through.
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Who Says Their Wedding Vows First
Traditionally, the groom says his vows first followed in turn by the bride. That said, some couples may choose to say them in unison to each other, and if youd rather the bride go first, speak to your registrar or celebrant well in advance to see if its something that can be arranged.
If youre having a same-sex wedding, it is totally up to you who goes first. Again, its a case of deciding between yourselves in advance and letting your registrar know.
Whatever you choose, it is tradition for the couple to face each other and join hands as they say their vows.
Where Do You See Yourselves In 10 Years 20 Years And 40 Years
Go beyond, “Happily married in a big house.” What are your long-term hopes dreams and goals? And remember, it could be as simple as enjoying the sunset on a pair of Adirondack chairs, or as big as being there for each other when times get tough.
Wedding vow template: I can’t wait to __________, laughing and __________ as we __________.
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Think Back To The Beginning Of Your Relationship
“A great way to start your vows is by flashing back to a pivotal moment in your relationship,” Peterson said. Once you’ve narrowed it down to one specific moment, describe it in a few sentences before tying it back to your wedding day â we love a full-circle moment! Consider the following example courtesy of Peterson:
“How could I have known that the beautiful woman I asked to borrow a number two pencil from during an SAT prep course would be the same woman that I’d one day ask to be my wife? I’m grateful you said yes all those years ago . . . and I’m grateful you are saying yes to forever with me now.”
How Long Should Vows Be
You can certainly attempt to rival all 736 pages of Hanya Yanagihara A Little Life if you wish, but Pushkine suggests keeping vows to no longer than 500 words.
Sadly, we dont have the attention span needed anymore for a long ceremony, nor is it necessary, she says. I often tell couples that if there is more material they want to include, use it in a letter and give it to each other privately. Alternatively, you could prepare a separate speech for the reception when the drinks are flowing and you have more time.
While many couples will want to keep their vows secret from each other until their wedding day, Bird advises brides and grooms to agree on a basic structure and length. You want the emotions to be real as you each hear each other’s promises for the first time, but it could get very awkward if one person goes on for ten minutes while the other is short and sweet, she notes.
As a result of Covid-19 restrictions, Dsenisi also warns couples that ceremonies are now shorter than usual, as recommended by the government, so many couples have not been able to include personal vows. Hopefully that will all change as planned at the end of July, she notes, advising couples to check this detail with their wedding venues.
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You Dont Need To Be A Writer To Create Great Wedding Vows
In some cases, writing is just not your thing. But, if personal wedding vows are really what feels right to you and this is the only thing in your way, dont let it stop you!
Take it from one of Canberras top celebrants, Pat Coelho. If youre stressing about how to write your vows, dont. RELAX! There are no right or wrong things to say in your vows.
Also, bear in mind that theres absolutely no hard and fast rule on how long wedding vows should be. The average tends to fall anywhere between 2-5 minutes, and keeping it even more brief is perfectly fine. In fact, focusing on quality over quantity is key.
Theres no need to write a novel. 200 words are enough to express how much someone means to you, advises in-demand Melbourne wedding celebrant Prue Takle.
And conversely, if you find yourself overwhelmed with too much to say, the same advice applies: keep it short and sweet.
If you have a huge list of things to say, think about what might be better saved for the reception speech, a future Valentines Day card, or spur of the moment text message. Choose the things that most make you want to marry this personthe qualities about you and them that will inform what married life will be like, says Prue Takle.
Authenticity is key
Its all too easy to get caught up and into your headAm I doing it right? Will the guests love it? Will it sound good on the wedding video?
Kickstart your creativity
How To Write Your Own Wedding Vows: Real Traditional And Modern Wedding Vows
Whether youre writing your own unique wedding vows or want to know what the traditional wedding vows are, take a look at our ultimate guide to what to say during your wedding ceremony
Wedding vows are the promises you make to your partner during your wedding ceremony. Naturally, every couple wants them to be heartfelt, romantic and meaningful, so theres a lot of pressure to get them right!
Do you go with tried and tested traditional wedding vows or choose something contemporary and modern? Should you write your own, or get a professional to write them for you? If you write your own, where do you start? What do you say?
Dont panic! Weve put together a complete guide to wedding vows for you.
Whether youre penning yours months in advance or furiously scribbling them hours before the ceremony , heres how to write your wedding vows plus some great example wedding vows to inspire you. Plagiarism encouraged!
Remember, your vows arent about impressing the congregation. Its about telling the person you love how you feel, truthfully, and promising that youll stand with them, whatever life throws at you.
Theres nothing wrong with choosing off-the-hanger vows. After all, theyve stood the test of time for a reason. There are plenty of other ways to personalise your wedding. So, here are some of the traditional wedding vows you can expect to be offered:
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The Protestant Wedding Sourcebook
In the presence of God and before our family and friends,I, Jessy, take you, Tim, to be my .All that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you.Whatever the future holds, I will love you and stand by you, as long as we both shall live.This is my solemn vow.I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to Gods holy ordinance and thereto I pledge thee my faith pledge myself to you.
Traditional Vs Personalized Vows
Traditional wedding vows are definitely but not too different from personalized wedding vows. It is difficult to make a comparison, however, because every wedding is unique on its own. Traditional wedding vows are not as standard or as dull as they used to be. For the ultimate commitment, choosing the right words is very important. Finding the right vows to fit your promise to each other might not be as difficult as you imagine. Some couples much prefer personalized vows in the form of short anecdotes here and there.
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Insert A List Of Promises
A vow, if nothing else, is a promise after allâand the most classic list of promises, vowing “to have, hold, love, and cherish, in sickness and in heath, until death do you part” may not be your style, but it’s key to land on your own version, making sure you bolster any and all humorous moments with genuine sentimentality. Matt Rubin capped off his vows to Olivia Fleming with a personalized list of promises:
“I promise we will always have the most magical Christmas celebrations. I promise to bring you coffee every morning. I promise to catch you if you clumsily fall. I promise to always come up with wild business ideas just in case one of them works. I promise to always communicate, to be honest, to work through a disagreement and make up within 10 minutes of arguing…I promise to take care of you in whatever comes our way and to love you this much for the rest of my life.”
Olivia, in turn, did the same: “I promise to never take you for granted and to always consider you in the big and the small. I promise to be patient…I promise to always laugh with you, even when what life throws us isnât so funny. I promise to never stop listening to your needs and wants, and I promise to always be honest and open about mine. I promise to never stop finishing your sentences…And I promise to love you, unconditionally, always and forever.”
Practice Reading Out Loud
The only way to make sure everything sounds perfect is to hear it out. Thats what maids of honors are for! Try reading them in the mirror, too. Reading your vows out loud will help you catch spots where the grammar might be off slightly or where you forgot to write a word and just to ensure that the story sounds cohesive.
Oh another pro tip have a backup set of vows! Were firm believers in backup plans!
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Wedding Vows For Him Examples
You have been my best friend, mentor, playmate, confidant, and my greatest challenge. But most importantly, you are the love of my life and you make me happier than I could ever imagine and more loved than I ever thought possible You have made me a better person, as our love for one another is reflected in the way I live my life. So I am truly blessed to be a part of your life, which as of today becomes our life together.
On this day,