When Should I Not Rsvp
Save the dates dont normally require an RSVP, however if one drops onto your doormat and you know you wont be able to attend you could call the couple to let them know that you cant be there but that you wish them well and would love to celebrate on another date, this way they wont waste sending an expensive invite your way.
Ask them to send on details of a wedding gift registry regardless.
If youre happily saving the date, wait for the formal wedding invitation to arrive before sending an official RSVP. Everything in weddings is perfectly timed, so your RSVP could end up getting lost.
Make It Clear Who Is Invited
While your guests should know who is invited based on who the invitation was addressed to, it’s a good idea to make it clear as part of your digital RSVP, too. That means that should list “Mr. and Mrs. Jones” or “Karen and Jack Jones” on your wedding website instead of “the Jones Family,” which would imply that kids are welcome. And if a guest was not given a plus-one, make sure there’s no where for them to potentially add that informationif there’s a space for guests, they may think they are allowed to bring a date even if the envelope didn’t include a plus-one.
Proper Etiquette When Guests Fail To Provide Rsvp Reply By The Due Date
What happens when a guest doesnt RSVP to your wedding? According to Tessa, a couple should wait one week after the due date before calling the guests for a verbal response.
While your close friends and family are likely to respond immediately, not everyone has the same enthusiasm or focus. But it doesnt mean theyre not excited about your wedding!
Most of the time, people simply forget to mail the RSVP reply or the card gets lost in the mail.
If a guest misses the RSVP date, grant them a one-week grace period. After seven days, give them a call. A friendly call is enough to get an accurate head count for your wedding day and keep everyone happy.
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Wedding Rsvp Etiquette For How To Fill Out A Response Card
How To Word Your Wedding Rsvp Cards

You might think that the most important part of your wedding invitation suite is the invitation itself. And okay, maybe youre rightit does cover the who, what, where and when of your wedding day, which is pretty important stuff!
But dont discount the importance of your RSVP card. Without it, you wont know whos coming to your wedding, which means youll have a very hard time properly buttoning up details for your venue and caterer. Remember, our wedding invite sets come with rsvp cards included, so you dont have to pay extra this adds up to huge savings.
If youre customizing your wedding invite and are stuck on how to word your RSVP card, we can help. First, lets break-down what pieces of information your response card should include:
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How To Write An Email Replying An Rsvp
In this part of the article, were going to discuss the best ways to write an email replying to an RSVP. After deciding how and when to reply to your email, youll need to write the email. Here are a few tips on how to write an email replying to an RSVP:
If youre replying to a formal invitation, your subject letter should convey that formality.
An official subject line would be: Decline Invitation to the Conference
An informal subject line would be: Cannot make it to your birthday party.
Examples of formal salutations are, Sincerely yours,Best regards,Best wishes, etc.
Do You Need To Put Stamps On Your Rsvp Cards
This is personal choice, make your decision based on budget and how likely are your guests to actually post the cards back to you. If you are hand delivering many of your invitations or your guests are local and in regular contact with you, they may just hand the reply cards back to you too. If youve included a reply card but also given another option to reply then remember that potentially some of those stamps wont be used.
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Send Your Confirmation Ahead Of Time
Know that you know how do you respond to wedding RSVP, please dont forget to reply ahead of time. Remember that they used an invitation to estimate the number of attendees. Some people want their wedding to be private, so as much as possible, they are implementing the no invitation, no entry policy. Giving the guests confirmation ahead of time will help them decide how much food they should be preparing and how big the venue should be. So if you werent able to make it and declined, it would allow them to hand out an invitation to a different person. Heres how to learn more about wedding guides.
What About Rsvps For Evening Invitations
Ive written this blog with wedding invitations in mind. Generally, your wedding invitation will require a response to determine how many guests will attend the ceremony and following reception. If the reception includes a traditional wedding breakfast then you will need accurate guest numbers some time before the big day for catering and table planning. For evening invitations, guest numbers may not be quite so critical and the responses could be a little more informal. I usually suggest either phone, text and/or email for evening invitations.
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How To Reply To An Online Rsvp
In the past several years, digital RSVP services have gained significant popularity and have become the go-to option for many of lives biggest events from weddings to Bar and Bat Mitzvahs to baby showers. Most online RSVP services function similarly, and require several quick and easy steps on the part of the guest.
Without A Preprinted Response Card
Kentris calls this option a more free-form style, where a blank card is included to allow guests to write a personal message. Some couples may add a prompt at the top to guide guests on what they hope to receive back, be it well wishes, song requests, or attendance. Wiese Alexander states that this is actually the more traditional approach to the RSVPits a bit more old-school, but it is proper etiquette.
On these replies, you want to include your full name and how many are coming in a full sentence as if you were speaking directly back to the host, matching the hosts formality. If addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie, and Drew, an ideal reply could be: Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie, and Drew will attend. The four of us wish everyone the best and look forward to joining you in May.
If allotted a plus one, write your name first, and then your guests full name. Never assume they know your boyfriend of seven years last name, says Wiese Alexander. Always include a full first and last name for your guest no matter who it is.”
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Expert Wedding Planning Tip: How To Decode The Mystery Wedding Guest
Many guests forget to write their names on the response cards, which leaves a couple wondering who the mystery guests is, says Tessa. Use an invisible black light ink marker to write the guests initials on the back of each RSVP card. In the event that a card comes back blank, use your black light to discover the mystery guest.
Add Extra Time For Destination Weddings

Because destination weddings require arranging flights and accommodations, there’s a different RSVP timeline. RSVPs should be due two months before the wedding, and the wedding invitations should be sent out approximately four months before the wedding. This will give guests ample time to make travel plans if they didn’t when they first received your save-the-date.
With a destination wedding, you’ll be glad you have an early RSVP deadline because then you’ll have plenty of buffer time to make sure every guest is accounted for, as well as get a sense of when people will be arriving and departing so you can plan pre- and post-wedding events accordingly.
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Ask For Song Requests
Erica Taylor, co-founder of Tinsel & Twine, says her clients have had great success when there’s an engaging call to action or participation factor included on the response card. “For example, ‘RSVP with a song that will keep you on the dance floor,’ or ‘RSVP with your favorite memory of the bride and groom.'”
Which Method Should We Use
There are pros and cons to both methods of requesting RSVPs. RSVP cards are more formal and follow the traditional manner of doing things, so its likely that most of your guests will know exactly how to respond. However, RSVP cards do come at an additional cost to you.
Not only will you pay for the additional paper material and envelope, but also for the return postage, which adds up when youre sending 100+ already-heavy invitations. If youre trying to save a little money, you may want to opt for the virtual route.
If you do go the virtual route, you may have to remind guests to actually log on to your wedding website and RSVP. When guests first open your invitation, they likely arent on their computer at the same time. If guests have to go to their computer and manually type in a URL, RSVPing could slip their mind. Youll also want to ensure that gram and grampsand any guests of the older generationknow how to use the interwebs, or be prepared to call them up to retrieve their RSVPs.
You can also utilize both RSVP cards and your wedding website to collect RSVPs. Offering your guests both options allows you to cater to both the traditional and tech-savvy crowds. Plus, having both options increases the chances of receiving more RSVPs quicker.
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How To Rsvp By Post To A Wedding Invitation
Weddings are special and enjoyable events, however they also come with certain etiquette and expectations. We wanted to provide some suggested wording and guidance on how to reply to a wedding invitation.
Responding
Upon receiving a wedding invitation, it is common to read Répondez s’il vous plaît or R.S.V.P. towards the bottom of the invitation. Translated, it literally means ‘Respond if you please’, and the desired response is for you to let the hosts know your response to whether you can attend, or not, and perhaps some other questions they ask.
These days there is all manner of methods for how the host would like to receive the response email, wedding websites, response cards or no preferred method.
While you should always endeavour to use the method prescribed by the host, a handwritten response as a standalone or, in addition to the prescribed manner is a beautiful way to leave an impression with the host – remember, they are very excited about their big day and it is wonderful to see someone take the time to echo that excitement.
Timing
Responses help the hosts keep track of the guest list, which is an important and often stressful part of the wedding planning process. Therefore when invited to a wedding a guests duty is to respond promptly confirming your attendance or regrets.
Style & Examples
Formal Responses
Dear, accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr and Mrs John Harristo the wedding reception of their daughter Sarah & Tom Duncan. Yours Sincerely,
How Do You Determine How Many Guests Are Able To Come
When I sent out my wedding invitations, certain households, for example, had five guests that were invited to the wedding . In some cases, not everyone in the family will be able to attend the wedding, and I wanted to make sure that I was able to account for that! Instead of writing an option that said “delightfully accept” with a checkbox next to it, I wrote a line that read “____ # of guests attending out of ____”. By making this an option, I was able to write in exactly how many guests in the family were invited, and therefore able to keep an accurate count when they sent the RSVP back with how many guests would be coming! You can see an example of one of my returned RSVP cards below. PS I totally kept all my RSVP cards because a lot of them have kind notes on them from some of the guests.
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