Should You Send A Wedding Gift If You Rsvp No
If you cant attend the wedding for some reason, you may find yourself wondering if you still owe the bride and groom a gift. The answer depends on your relationship with the couple.
If your RSVP no because you dont know the bride and groom very well or you arent on good terms, then you probably dont have to send a gift. If you cant attend for another reason, like an important commitment, but you are a close friend or relative of the couple, send a gift.
Your gift can be simpler and less expensive if you cant attend the wedding, but a friend or relative should still send the newlyweds some kind of congratulatory gift. For those who RSVP no and dont know the happy couple very well, a card with well wishes is good enough.
How Long Do I Have To Get The Couple A Gift
According to Emily Post, you have one year. “But most people getting married today have no idea who Emily Post is,” Howser says. “You should technically be sending your gift to the couple, or coordinating for it to be sent at a time of their choice, before attending the wedding. If you need a bit of extra time, that’s finebut if you leave it for more than a month or two after the wedding, they’ll assume you aren’t sending a gift.”
Consider How Much You’re Spending To Attend The Wedding
As you figure out how much money to spend on a wedding gift, you’ll want to determine how much money you’ll be spending to attend the wedding.
If the wedding is local, you may feel more comfortable putting more money toward a gift than if you’re paying for airfare and a hotel to show up at a destination wedding in a place like Hawaii or Jamaica. It’s likely the couple will understand if you trimmed the gift budget because you forked over thousands of dollars to be at their ceremony.
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Ignore The Price Per Plate Guideline
In the past, wedding guests often determined the cost of their gift using the “price-per-plate” guideline-meaning that guests would guess how much the couple will spend on hosting them, and purchase something around the same cost. But this measurement has become outdated since it can be difficult to assess how much a couple’s wedding will cost them. Plus, not everyone throws a big wedding, and you wouldn’t want to pick up a $15 gift for a friend who throws a low-key ceremony, would you?
Is Cash Acceptable As A Wedding Gift
Cash is becoming more and more of an acceptable wedding gift in modern wedding tradition. If the couple is already living together, you may want to consider giving them cash or a check since they may not be in need of gifts for their home. If the couple also has a honeymoon fund, you can consider giving them cash for their upcoming travels.
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What Percentage Of Your Income Should You Spend On A Wedding
Currently if the average couple, both earning the average wage , spent the average amount on their wedding , they would be spending almost 33 percent of their yearly income. On just one day.
- If you start saving in January to be married later that year, your earnings up until April will only be going to pay for your wedding
Most people pay for their weddings out of their personal savings or with help from family, but a growing number of people are taking out loans to pay for their wedding or putting it on credit card.
The question to ask yourself is not just what can you afford, but what are happy paying. Think about what that money could be used for instead.
How Much Should A Couple Spend On A Wedding Gift Guide For Wedding Guests
If youre fretting about an upcoming wedding because you read about the cover your plate rule worry no more. Authorities on etiquette all agree the rule is absurd as it gets. And when experts agree on something, us mere mortals better listen.
If this is your first time reading about the rule, it goes something like this you should at least give a wedding present that at least matches the cost of what the couple is spending per person on the day of the wedding. So if the couple spends $200 per person on catering, the cover your plate rule dictates you at least gift them something worth $200 or more.
There are a few problems with the rule. The most obvious equates weddings to transactions. If you give the couple a juicer, then you should expect a few glasses of wine and grilled chicken breast to boot. Conversely, if the couple gives you access to an open bar and an all you can eat buffet, you should probably write them a check for your entire weeks salary. The rule assumes guests have a supernatural ability to figure out what the couple will spend on food and booze. It also presumes all guests have the same purchasing power.
Its like being asked to figure out the cost of groceries and time spent cooking before you buy a bottle of wine to take to a dinner party.
Put simply, you dont have to spend more just because the couple opted to host an extravagant celebration.
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If You Dont Attend The Wedding Do You Still Have To Send A Gift
This may come as a surprise to you, but the answer is yes. A gift is just a small gesture and a way for the couple to know that they are important to you. After all, they invited you sincerely wishing that you would be joining them to celebrate, thus sending a gift is the least that you can do, especially if you are not attending their special day.
Work Off Of Your Role In The Wedding
Another factor that influences how much you should spend on a wedding gift is your role in the wedding. Bridesmaids and groomsmen pay high prices for attire, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and other wedding festivities. Since the bridal party already contributed lots of time and effort to the wedding, they shouldn’t need to purchase a $150 gift for the bride and groom. Instead, consider having all bridesmaids and groomsmen chip in for one massive wedding gift, or you could stick to the $50 minimum rule. The same principle goes for wedding guests attending a destination wedding, since they oftentimes pay for airfare and lodging.
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How Much To Spend On A Wedding Gift For A Close Friend Or Family Member
Perhaps your best friend or a close cousin is getting marriedyou likely want to spend a little more on the wedding gift amount. According to our data, the average guest spend on a wedding gift is $120, though guests spend closer to $130 for a couple they’re close to. Depending on your budget, you might consider spending anywhere between $100-$200+ on a gift.
If you’re also in this person’s wedding party, though, Volkom suggests evaluating the amount you’ve already spent on an engagement gift, a shower gift, the bachelorette party, and any other wedding-related expenses. “With this in mind, it’s perfectly acceptable to opt for a more sentimental gift rather than an extravagant gift,” she says. You can always give something on the lower end of this spectrum considering the large role you’ve already contributed to their big day.
Should Your Cash Gift Amount Be Based On Your Financial Situation
Those thinking about how much money to give at a wedding will likely take their own financial situation into account. An easy rule of thumb is to stay within the average range of $75 to $200, but you can adjust the exact amount based on your personal finances, as well as your relationship with the couple.
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Pressures From Friends And Family
Of course, its easy to say that $44,000 is too much to spend on one day when you aren’t the one getting married. However, that oversimplifies a complex issue underlying the reason couples spend such large sums of money in the first place.
Depending on a couple’s family and values, they may see the wedding as a chance to gather everyone together as a sort of reunion, especially if people have moved away or become busier. This may be the only chance they have to catch up with everyone.
Unfortunately, the larger your guest list, the more expensive your wedding becomes. To some couples, the price tag is worth it if it means getting to see their loved ones.
With more guests also comes more expectations. A couple may feel pressured to have a beautiful, lavish wedding if their friends who had a beautiful wedding will attend. Or, a couple may want to impress family members. People have a habit of comparing weddings, especially when theres a string of them happening, so that adds to a couple’s wedding pressure.
How Much Is The Average Wedding Gift
If you were to take a quick look around the web, youd find that approximately $100 is the current going rate for a wedding gift. Here are a few specific examples:
- According to wedding registry site Zola: $50-$75 if youre not close , $75-$100 if youre a friend or relative, and $100-$150 if youre a close friend, immediate family, or part of the wedding party.
- From Vogue : $99 if youre a friend, $127 if youre a family member.
- Recommended by NerdWallet: $128 if youre a close friend.
Almost every site unanimously agreed that it might be in bad taste to spend less than $50 on a gift.
If you think that $100 sounds too much and youre about to blame it on the rising cost per plate that most wedding receptions charge, you might want to hold on for a second
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How Long Do You Have To Give A Wedding Gift
You should send your wedding gift within two to three months of the wedding. Sooner is better, but this is the acceptable time frame.
Some people used to say that you have as long as one year, but most people believe sending a gift a year after the wedding is in poor taste. Sending gifts directly via online shopping is so easy nowadays that you dont really have an excuse to take that long.
Send your gift within two months, or at most three months post-wedding day.
Acquaintances And Night Guest: 20
Going to just the evening event instead? Many couples will say on the invite that theyre not expecting you to bring gifts and it’s perfectly acceptable to take this seriously.
However, if you would like to bring something along as a gesture, spending around the £20-30 mark is standard.
Ocean Finance says that some fool-proof ideas include soft furnishings or a personalised candle.
However, when purchasing something for their home, consider their taste.
Do they prefer pattern and colour, or a more minimalistic style? When choosing a present, keep this in mind as you dont want to waste your money by choosing something theyll never use.
Alternatively, after the stress of planning the big day, you could win over the newlyweds by giving them all they need for a cosy night in.
Fill a basket with blankets, popcorn, wine, candles or even a voucher for a takeaway could be the perfect gift without spending too much.
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Tips To Help Determine How Much To Spend On A Wedding Gift
Accepting a wedding invitation is pretty much a contractual obligation to get the happy couple a gift, and no one wants to look like a cheapskate when the presents are opened. However, accepting a wedding invitation also means taking the costs of travel and lodging to attend, which can put a severe dent in your budget. So, how can a guest balance all these financial obligations and give the couple a great gift?
Here are five tips to help you figure out how much you should spend on a wedding present.
How Much To Spend On A Wedding Gift For An Acquaintance
The wedding day of an acquaintance or a distant relative is no less celebratory. While you might not have a close relationship, you can still get them a great gift to celebrate their love. We recommend browsing presents in a range of $75-$175+. Again, taking the level of your relationship into accountalong with your budgetis the best way to choose a present that feels appropriate for you.
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Whats The Cover Your Plate Rule
Once upon a time, it was considered good etiquette to purchase a wedding gift with a price tag comparable to the cost per plate at the reception. Although its outdated, this sneaky piece of advice still gets passed around by wedding attendees like a piece of wedding gospel.
Heres why you should leave it behind:
- Following this guideline means having to ask around how much theyre spending per plate at their wedding, which is a pretty uncomfortable question to circulate.
- It implies that you as a guest have to spend a certain amount on a wedding gift regardless of your budget .
- Attending someones wedding isnt a food-for-gift exchangeits about celebration and coming together.
- This practice indicates to the couple that youre only interested in giving them a gift that matches their wedding catering budget.
Youre Invited To A Destination Wedding
Lets face it, if youre heading to Maui or Cozumel to watch friends or family get hitched, youre already paying a pretty penny to be there. Most newlyweds understand this, so theyre less likely to expect a larger cash gift. Still feeling generous? Rather than carrying an envelope of cash on vacation and risking it being lost or stolen, set up a bank e-transfer before you leave so that the money lands in their account on wedding day.
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If I Have A Plus One: How Much Should A Couple Spend On A Wedding Gift
You are not under oath to bear any extra gifts if you attend a wedding with a date or group of friends. But if you have a close relationship with the couple, you are morally bound to come with a gift double the cost or a bit over one adult head. This is to show support to the couple and pay for the extra plate of food.
As such, really close friends with a plus one should spend about $180 $250. For others $80 $160 is fine.
