Should You Ask For Money As A Wedding Gift
Its a well-known tradition that guests will buy gifts for the happy couple, explains Confetti.co.uk editor and wedding expert Zoe Burke, and many guests will expect to receive a gift list with their invitation so they know they are buying a useful and wanted gift.
However, with living together pre-marriage as common as it is nowadays, most couples dont need the traditional gifts to set up their home, so asking for money instead of presents allows them more options. It is perfectly acceptable to ask for money instead of presents, but it needs to be done in the right way.
Ask Your Parents And Wedding Party To Spread The Word
Make sure to let your parents and bridal party know that you’d prefer cash and encourage them to tactfully spread the word. Chances are guests will ask them what they should get you, and this will prepare them to share what youâre saving for, whether itâs the trip of a lifetime, a kitchen remodel, or a down payment on a home you can call your own. They can then suggest that your guests make a contribution to your savings fund instead of getting you a new toaster.
Adding Photos And Links To Your Honeymoon Fund Site
Once you’ve chosen all your gifts, it’s time to research them and get a little more specific about what your guests are actually paying for. Each of your honeymoon fund gifts should have a link to what the guest is buying and a few photos if possible. That means including links to your hotel’s website and any activities you plan to try to better show guests what you’ll be doing.
For example, rather than just ask for meals, look up restaurants that you want to try. Add links to their website and any photos they might have on social media or their website. Write out what you and your partner plan to order from the menu or what you think you might try. The more your guests can visualize what you’re doing, the more comfortable they’ll feel in contributing.
The combination of a personalized message explaining the gift from you along with links and photos showing exactly where the money is going will help guests get excited about your honeymoon. They’ll want to help send you on such an exciting honeymoon and they’ll want to hear about it all when you get back.
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Do Have A Box For Cards At The Reception
To provide a safe means to receive cash gifts at your wedding, buy or make a well-labeled box dedicated to cards. Have your wedding coordinator or someone in the wedding party periodically check the box throughout the evening of your wedding day.
This gives your guests security in knowing their card has been placed somewhere safe and you, too, have peace of mind knowing that your money won’t be wandering off during your special day.
What Wording Should I Use To Ask For Cash Wedding Gifts
Wondering how to ask for money as a wedding gift and neex wording examples?
This is a gift-free eventYour presence at this event is gift enough for us, so we kindly request no gifts. We have all the material goods we need . If you’d like to contribute to our , you’re welcome to do so via our cash registry, .
Want lots more samples and ideas for how to ask for cash wedding gifts? We gotchoo:
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Enlist Your Wedding Party’s Help
Your friends and family members in your bridal party might be able to understand your preference for cash better than anyone. As many members are probably about your age and saving money for their own weddings, honeymoons and homes, they can probably relate.
Ask your wedding party to quietly spread the word if they hear anyone discussing gifts or are asked directly. A nudge in the right direction will go along way.
Don’t Register At All
There is always the option of forgoing any wedding or honeymoon registry at all. Although it’s far less common, you could skip registering at any stores or creating your own honeymoon registry or cash fund. When you don’t ask for anything, the implication to guests is that all you want is cash as a wedding present.
Now this is technically an option, but it does come with some serious risks.
For one thing, you mind confuse or even offend some guests. If no registry is listed on the wedding invitation or save-the-date card, then guests might assume that you don’t want gifts at all. It wouldn’t be unheard of. Guests might assume that parents are paying for the wedding and honeymoon, and therefore, the couple doesn’t need gifts.
On the other hand, you could accidentally offend some guests by not giving them a gift option, and that’s poor wedding etiquette. Guests want to know that no matter what they give, their contribution will feel appreciated, and they want to feel welcome to decide what they want to give. When you don’t register for anything, you don’t give them options and leave them feeling obligated to give cash or don’t show up.
The last thing you want to do is offend your guests, so while not registering anywhere will send a message that you want cash as a gift, it tends to backfire. It’s completely reasonable to want cash as a gift for your wedding, but your first priority should always be making your wedding guests feel welcome, appreciated and included.
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Mention Your Wishes To Close Friends And Family Members
Another great way to get your message across is to simply tell the people closest to you and let word-of-mouth take its course. Sharing your preferences forwedding gifts with your inner circle, bridal party, and wedding party means they can let the rest of your friends and wedding guests know and help field questions. This way, you can focus on other aspects of your wedding planning.
But What To Do With The Cash Whilst Youre Waiting To Spend It
It is important that couples who do receive money keep it safe, whatever theyre deciding to spend it on, advises Mark Neale, Chief Executive of FSCS. Depositing the money in a UK-authorised bank, building society or credit union will give couples reassurance that their money is FSCS protected. These savings are protected up to £85,000 by FSCS, in the unlikely event of the provider going bust.
Many of the couples I work for face a dilemma when it comes to wedding gifts, says Alexandra Moseley, a professional wedding planner. In a number of relationships the couple already live together and have everything they need for their home. They mainly want to make sure that their guests feel as much a part of their big day.
With many couples now taking their honeymoon months after their wedding, some newly-weds prefer donations to their honeymoon fund. The fact that the majority of guests feel comfortable giving cash will reassure a couple that they can ask for it, if thats what they feel is most appropriate.
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Set Out A Box For Cards At The Reception
Not everyone will use your cash registry. Instead, they’ll bring a check or cash to the reception. Buy a card box that you can designate for cards at the reception. Ask your planner or maid of honor to periodically check the box throughout the evening.
They can collect the cards youâve received and put them in a safe place so you donât have to worry about money wandering off, and your guests can give their gifts with a little peace of mind.
Avoid Asking For Cash On Save
Some couples have trouble asking for cash as a wedding gift in person but they have no problem doing so on an invitation or save-the-date. Couples often feel this method is less invasive, and since they’re not physically holding out their hands to their guests, it can’t be completely rude, can it?
In short, yes, asking for cash as a wedding gift is generally rude, especially on wedding invitations and save-the-dates. Here’s why.
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Skip The Poems And Cutesy Wording On Invitations
In recent years, some couples have tried more subtle ways of asking for cash on their wedding invitations and save-the-dates. They’ve used poems and cutesy phrases to try and soften the blow of directly asking for cash but it hasn’t worked.
You could compose a full Shakespearean sonnet to ask for cash for your wedding, and it would still be considered rude. Provide a link to your wedding website on your invitations and leave it at that. Your guests can figure the rest out on their own.
Gently Push Guests Towards Giving Cash
So how does having a wedding registry actually push people towards giving you cash?
It’s not as direct, but one of two things will happen. Either your registry will fill up, and guests who order gifts late won’t have anything to choose from, so they will give cash. Guests could also opt for cash if there isn’t anything left on the registry within their price point.
This method can backfire if guests decide to give gift cards instead, so a honeymoon fund like Hitchd might be more reliable if you want to steer guests towards cash.
Wedding decor and dresses may go in and out of style, but etiquette always remains. Your wedding guests want to be supportive of you and your partner, but they don’t want to feel as if you’re only interested in what they could give you.
However you ask for money, with Hitchd or through your parents and wedding party, make sure your gratefulness for any gift is always front and centre. It will go a long way towards showing your guests that you care.
Fund memories, not things.
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How To Politely Ask For Money Instead Of Gifts For Your Wedding
While wedding etiquette does dictate that asking for money as a wedding gift outright is considered rude, there are ways to circumvent that rule and ask for money in more polite, slightly less obvious ways. As long as you keep your wedding guests’ feelings front and center, then you can gently encourage them to give cash as a gift without making them feel like they need to show up at your wedding with a check.
If you need ideas for asking for money as a wedding gift, here’s what you can do to best encourage others to give cash as a wedding present.
Fund memories, not things.
What Do You Say In A Honeymoon Fund
Are you wondering, what should I write in my honeymoon fund? Here are some honeymoon fund wording tips that will help you communicate your wishes politely and effectively.
Your honeymoon fund wording should be personal and authentic. In other words, it should sound like you. If youre a formal person, use formal language. If youre not, phrase it informally.
You can use simple honeymoon fund wording, with just a couple of sentences, or write a paragraph or more. Either way, make your honey fund request specific. Let people know what they will be contributing toward by giving a few pertinent details about your plans, like where you want to go and what you want to do.
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Wedding Money Poems For Honeymoon Contributions
If you are asking specifically for contributions to your honeymoon, here are some wedding money poems that reference that:
Wed love for you to celebrate our wedding with us,But theres really no need for a big old fuss.There will be no gift-laden table,So actually, if you are ableWed much prefer the gift of moneySo we can jet off somewhere sunny!
We know its traditional to write a listBut in this case there is a slight twistOur home is complete with the usual stuffAnd the things that we have are good enoughOur dream is to honeymoon in a foreign landAnd walk along the beach hand in handWe hope you dont think of us as being rudeAnd that our request is not misconstruedBut a contribution to our honeymoon potWould be appreciated such a lotBut the most important thing to sayIs that you are there to celebrate our day!
We are sending out this invitationIn hope you will join a celebrationBut if a gift is your intentionMay we take this opportunity to mentionWe have already got a kettle and toastercrockery, dinner mats and matching coastersSo rather than something weve already gotWe would appreciate money for our honeymoon potBut most importantly we requestThat you come to our wedding as our guest.
We do not have a gift listOur house is set with nothing missedWed like to go on honeymoonA place for us as bride and groomWere asking for a cash donationTo send us to our dream location
How Do You Write A Monetary Gift On An Invitation
For example, write, In lieu of traditional gifts, monetary gifts are graciously accepted. Or write, As an alternative to traditional gifts, a money tree will be set up at the entrance to the reception. Do not write statements such as, Only cash gifts accepted. or, Please give cash gifts only. on invitations or
What is it called when you ask for money as a wedding gift?
This cash gift idea, often called a wishing well, is a great way to keep track of all the monetary donations received on your wedding day.
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Where Do We Ask For The Money To Go Wishing Well Bank Account Honeymoon Fund
Some couples choose to have a wishing well at their wedding, whereas others will provide a bank account or use a gifting website. There are some beautiful acrylic wishing wells available for cards and gifts you can note this on your invitation too.I love this perspex wishing well featured in the image below).
Of course, there will always be some guests who prefer to buy gifts with a personal touch, such as a special photo frame to put wedding photos in, or perhaps special wine glasses for future celebrations.
Why Does It Matter So Much
When you’re planning your wedding, you might feel like following wedding etiquette is a waste of time, especially if you consider you and your partner to be a little more modern. Maybe you two already live together and you’ve already accumulated many of the household items that you’d usually put on a wedding registry. When it comes down to it, what you and your partner really need is money, maybe for a downpayment on a house or maybe to furnish your new home.
Although it may be tempting, completely ignoring wedding etiquette can lead to a lot of trouble around your wedding. While some guests, usually younger guests, may understand your plight, others, often older guests, may feel slighted and expected to give cash in order to attend the wedding. You may come off as greedy to some as if you’re using your wedding as an excuse for a cash grab.
Your families love you and want to support you both, so don’t run the risk of insulting them or making them feel unwelcome at your wedding. As tempting as it may be to ignore all rules of wedding etiquette, don’t do it. Your wedding should be first and foremost a celebration, so keep it feeling festive and ensure no one feels slighted or forced into gift giving.
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Use An Online Cash Registry
So how exactly do you go about asking for money as a wedding gift? Luckily, there are a few cash registry sites, like Honeyfund, that exist for this very reason. Sites like these allow you to create a registry for just about anything you can imagine, from honeymoons to home improvement projects. You can even choose to donate to your favorite charity! If you decide to register at a site like this, you can alert your guests in the same way you would a traditional registryon your wedding website.
How To Ask For Money For A Wedding Gift: The Best Ways
Politely requesting money instead of gifts for your wedding is a fine art, but these days, its more common than youd think.
Traditionally, couples would welcome the flood of kitchen appliances, home electronics, and matching dinner mats that would arrive at their doorstep post-wedding day. Their sparkling new home would be filled with physical wedding gifts, often requested by the couple themselves simply because this was their first home together, and they didnt have any stuff!
However, nowadays, the average couple has already been living together for many years before tying the knot and theyve got a lot of the stuff they already need. But, what they dont have is capital! No deposit to buy a house, and no extra budget for that dream honeymoon.
Receiving cash wedding gifts can be a wonderfully useful way to start married life together, as it offers the opportunity to invest, or spend big on something you wouldnt have been able to afford otherwise.
However, it is still a relatively new concept and its worth taking into consideration the feelings of your relatives and closest friends when addressing your gift preference. So how to ask for money for a wedding gift?
Today, were going to share the subtle and polite ways you can ask for monetary gifts, while also exploring the best ways to receive said cash donations.
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