Learn How To Officiate A Wedding In 10 Steps
So youve been invited to officiate a wedding! Of course, youre honored, but frankly you have no clue how to perform a marriage ceremony. Harris Bloom is here to help. Hes a wedding officiant in New York and has married over 400 couples. Four years ago, as a full-time comedian, one of his fans invited him to officiate his wedding. He did, and that wedding led to tons of referrals. More than the great feedback, he loved helping people in love and realized hed found his calling. Four years later as the top-rated Thumbtack wedding officiant in New York, its clear that the people love him back. Follow along for his tips on how to officiate a wedding.
STEP 1: How to officiate a wedding
Baptist Wedding Ceremony Script
When planning the wedding ceremony, incorporate the most important Baptist elements. Although there are many established traditions in a Baptist ceremony you can still personalize the service. Add your own words and thoughts into the vows and including family and friends.
With this ring I thee wed, and all my worldly goods I thee endow. In sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, âtil death do us part.
If your unsure as to what the defining difference is, Baptists believe in salvation in God alone â as opposed to the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Baptists also do not follow the Holy sacraments as the way to salvation. Since marriage is one of the Holiest sacraments, there will be a fairly significant difference here.
Pagan is a legally recognized faith with three main religions. There are many traditions that fall under the Pagan title.
- Wicca: This is a nature-oriented faith which uses the seasons as the focus of their beliefs.
- Druidry: Based on the Celtic heritage of storytelling and poetry.
- Asatru: Based on Northern European beliefs drawing on the virtues of the Vikings, three of which are courage, truth, and honor.
The couple will say they do.
The couple will say they do.
Who Can Officiate A Wedding
Its not only official clergymen who can officiate weddings. Any friend or family member is chosen by the couple for this role can actually officiate the wedding. While you can pick just about anyone, you would want someone of legal age, well-rounded, and able to give a good speech. This person should know the bride and groom well to a level where he/she is comfortable talking about their relationship.
Consider the speech you want them to give, the location, their availability, and also how welcome they would be to the idea of officiating at the wedding. It might not seem like much of a responsibility, but when wondering, how to ask a friend to officiate your wedding, I think theres another question to ponder. So, who can officiate a wedding?
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Modern Wedding Script Sample
Officiant: Good afternoon. , and I would like to welcome everyone on this gorgeous day. Its because of all of youbecause of this strong community and s relationship has strengthened and grown and led them to this very moment. Thank you for being here, now lets begin.
and , what youve accomplished here today is no small feat. Your journey began way before you sent out the invitations, chose this beautiful venue or even decided to spend the rest of your lives together.
Your journey began the moment you first met. You took the time to learn what makes the other person smile, what makes them laugh and how to best support them when life is less than simple. You welcomed each others families, communities and lifelong friends, and joined them together with warmth and enthusiasm. You built a new village with your love, and have worked every day to support this village as it changes and grows.
As our reading today, has asked her cousin to perform an original poem to honor their vows.
and , please take each others hands and repeat after me:
, I swear to you/ that I will dedicate my life from this day forward/ to filling our days with beauty and laughter./ I will celebrate your spirit and all of your accomplishments/ work to inspire you/ and be here to remind you of your beauty and strength./ I take you today as my partner/ my confidant/ my other half/ and I will love you for the rest of my life.
Exchange of Rings
Pastor Wedding Ceremony Script
As a pastor performing a wedding ceremony you will include all the traditional and religious elements of your church. The biblical readings and music will reflect the religious nature of the ceremony as well as the commitment by the couple surrounding their marriage. A pastor or church leader will often take the opportunity to meet with the couple ahead of time so that the words in the ceremony are ones they choose together.
Invocation:
I welcome you all and Iâm thankful that you are here to witness and celebrate the love of Paul and Melisa.
Prayer:
We prayâ¦Father in heaven, we give you thanks for binding these two persons in love. We pray that you uphold their love. Make their love practical and give them hearts of patience and forgiveness. Today, we hand this marriage over to you.
Who gives this bride to be Wedâ¦Will you have this woman as your legal wife? To love and cherish, protect and keep? In good and bad, until death takes you?
Pronouncement:
With the power vested in me by the state of Georgia, I pronounce you man and wife.
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Plan With Your Officiant
The officiants role in your wedding is not just to perform the wedding sermon but also to lead the entire service. Experienced officiants usually have a basic outline for wedding ceremonies, and you can add your own unique touches to it to personalize it.
However, if a friend of yours is stepping up as an officiant, youll have to provide directions and work together as a team to plan out the ceremony.
Sample Wedding Ceremony Scripts And Writing Tips
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The wedding ceremony is the heart of the wedding day. The dress, the flowers, the food are all icing on the cake, but the ceremony is where two people actually become marriedlegally, spiritually, and literally. Considering the significance, its surprising that many couples often leave the wedding ceremony planning to the last minute, according to wedding officiant and professional vow writing coach Tanya Pushkine. Its so rare that the wedding ceremony is thought of as a priority, says Pushkine. Its almost like an afterthought.
Meet the Expert
Tanya Pushkine is a professional vow writing coach, ceremony planner, and officiant based in New York City. Shes known as the vow whisperer for her ability to craft authentic and memorable ceremonies that reflect the unique personalities and beliefs of the couple.
Pushkine recommends that brides start thinking about the ceremony early in the wedding planning process so that they know what to ask for when they meet with their wedding planner or day-of coordinator. Religious ceremonies are typically more fixed in terms of the service, language, and traditions while secular/non-religious ceremonies give couples a lot more flexibility to personalize the ceremony to their unique tastes.
Below, weve outlined wedding ceremony script writing tips and a few sample wedding ceremony scripts to inspire you.
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How Long Should Wedding Vows Be
Weddings have changed a lot over the years, but whats stayed consistent is the 1-minute rule of thumb for wedding vows.
If the person officiating the wedding isn’t a pastor, its likely you will want a modern tone with your vows. There are hundreds of templates you can find online, but sometimes the bride and groom will want to write their own.
Keep in mind that 1 minute is long enough to keep the attention of the audience and short enough that the bride and groom wont stumble over what theyre saying, choking up at every passing sentence.
There will be tears. Try to manage them with digestible, short-and-to-the-point vows.
How To Legally Officiate A Wedding
Most weddings are officiated by a notary public, members of the clergy, justices of the peace, judges, and in some states even the mayor is qualified to perform a wedding. If you have been picked by your friends or family to officiate their wedding, however, and you dont fit into any of these roles, it is important to find out the rules of the state you are under. To legally marry the couple, you would have to become a temporary officiant under the statutes of the state so that their marriage can be legal. So, depending on the location, it is important that the couple:
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Handfasting Wedding Ceremony Wording
Handfastings celebrates the coming together of two people in a formal and equal partnership. Handfastings can have many variations, but it is based on an ancient Celtic ritual in which the coupleâs hands are tied together to symbolize the binding of their two lives. It is often a part of Wiccan or Pagan ceremonies but it is also becoming popular in more mainstream ceremonies.
Know now before you go further, that since your lives have crossed in this life you have formed ties between each other.As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real, the ideals that give meaning to both this ceremony and the institution of marriage.
With full awareness, know that within this circle you are not only declaring your intent to be handfasted before your friends and family, but you speak that intent also to your creative higher powers.The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union they will cross the years and lives of each soulâs growth.Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?
Bride and Groom say, âYes, We Seek to Enter.â
i
and , these two bottles of sand represent your individual life and all that you are. Your friends, families, and children if any before today. Today we will blend this sand and you will not exist anymore.You will become one in love and married. And as the sand cannot be quite separated, so also you both cannot be well separated.
Wedding Ceremony Script Guideline Includes:
The perfect white dress, the food, and the wedding cake are the perks of planning a wedding day that no one wants to miss. However, the main part of that special day is the wedding ceremony where the officiant weds you with your beloved one, standing on an aisle of your dreams.
Whether you want a short, sweet, and simple ceremony or a glamorous one that leaves your guests in awe, planning is always necessary. This article includes some of the best tips for writing a wedding ceremony script along with some formats and inspiring examples!
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Eastern Orthodox Wedding Vows
Many branches of the Orthodox church use silent vows during the ceremony an introspective prayer in which the couple promises to be loyal and loving to each other. In the Russian tradition, however, vows are spoken out loud:
I, ___, take you, ___, as my wedded wife/husband and I promise you to love, honor and respect to be faithful to you, and not to forsake you until death does us part. So help me God, one in the Holy Trinity and all the Saints.
The Blessing And Exchange Of Rings
The celebrant asks God’s blessing on the ring or rings:
Bless, O Lord, these rings as a symbol of the vows by which this man and this woman have bound themselves to each other through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All:
Amen.
The groom places the ring on the left ring-finger of the bride’s hand, saying:
I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
The bride places the ring on the left ring-finger of the groom’s hand, saying:
I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Then the celebrant joins the bride’s right hand and the groom’s right hand, saying:
Now that and have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, with the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of rings, I pronounce that they are husband and wife, in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Those whom God has joined together, let no one put asunder.
All:
The celebrant directs the congregation to stand, saying:
Let us stand and pray together the words our Savior taught us.
All stand and recite the Lord’s Prayer:
The celebrant then directs the congregation to sit, the couple to kneel, and the service continues with prayers or song.
The celebrant blesses the kneeling couple, saying:
The celebrant addresses all gathered:
All:
And also with you.
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Print Your Wedding Script In A Large Font
We love default settings. And sometimes that means we never question them. And we certainly dont think to change them! I mean, its the default for a reason, right?
The default font size in word-processing software like Word or Pages or is usually 12 or even smaller.
A 12-point font is perfect when youre printing a report, but its a big problem when youre printing a speech.
The key to reading naturally is not having to stick your eye six inches from the page. Its being able to glance down without moving your head down or moving the script up. Its seeing the words clearly.
So the fix here is easy: use a bigger font than Word or Pages or Google Docs suggests. The number will vary depending on how you do on your eye chart exam. It will also be determined by what font you decide to use.
For me, the perfect font and size are Arial 14.
Why Arial 14?
Let me answer that by explaining this: getting the font and size right for you will do two things.
First, it will maximize how well you can see the words of your script.
Second, it will minimize how often you have to turn the pages. You dont want to be flipping paper like youre cramming for a test up there.
The perfect font and size for you strikes a balance between seeing the words easily and not having to flip pages too often.
For me, that perfect balance is Arial 14.
