Who’s Who In The Wedding Party
Your bride has chosen her posse, now it’s your turn to do the same. Which of your best guys do you want standing next to you at the altar? Do you need ushers? And what separates your best man from the rest of the pack? Don’t worry, our easy guide to wedding party responsibilities will help you decide who is in charge of the rings, who gets to plan the bachelor party and who makes sure Great Aunt Ida gets to her seat.
Wedding Party: Who Pays For Their Wedding Attire
Are bridesmaids supposed to purchase their bridesmaid dresses, and should groomsmen pay for their tux rentals? My friend says she has never heard of such a thing, and that I’m supposed to pay.
Wedding party members usually pay their own way when it comes to clothing — the women buy their dresses and the men rent their formalwear. It’s fine for the bride and groom to offer to pay for dresses and tuxes, but it’s certainly not mandatory and most couples can’t really afford to do so. What you can do is avoid going overboard and choosing costly bridesmaid dresses or formalwear. In the end, the proper thing to do is to keep your friends’ budgets in mind when deciding what they’ll wear.
Who Should Be In My Wedding Party
There are three categories of people who are usually included in the wedding party:
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Parents Of The Bride/groom Roles
The parents of the bride and groom take a very active and honoured role in the wedding. They are giving their kids away, but also enjoy making this milestone everything that their children have ever dreamed of. However, every family is different, so feel free to shift around these traditional roles. Any mother or father figure in your life can be assigned one or multiple of these wedding positions.
Mother of the Bride
The role of mother of the bride is actually quite similar to a bridesmaid. She will help the bride plan the wedding, perhaps being more hands-on, and support her throughout the process. At present, she usually assists with planning the bridal shower, along with the brides aunts or cousins. If she likes, she may give a speech or toast at the rehearsal dinner or reception. Come the day of the wedding she will help orchestrate the chaos unless you hire a wedding planner or day-of coordinator. She will also take an active role in the ceremony itself, as a part of the procession.
Mother of the Groom
As the mother of the groom wedding tasks will vary. It usually depends on how much help the bride wants or needs. She often helps host pre-wedding events and supports her son throughout the wwedding planning and on the big day. She too may give a speech or toast, and will also enjoy a mother-son dance at the reception.
Father of the Bride
Father of the Groom
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Traditional Wedding Party Roles
At weddings with a “head table,” the wedding party sits with the bride and/or groom. With a “sweetheart table”, the couple is seated separately from their wedding party, but their closest friends and family are still in close proximity.
Heres a quick breakdown of the titles and roles youll find in a traditional wedding party, as well as lengthier explanations for what each of these roles are expected to do.
- Pro Tip: While these are the textbook divisions of matrimonial labor, however you choose to assign responsibilities is completely up to you and your partner. If you want to plan your own bachelorette party, skip it entirely, or skip having a wedding party for that matter, do what feels right for you. However you seek outside support during your wedding planning, make sure you articulate nicely and clearly what you need from each of the important people in your life so that they can help you have the meaningful, important day youre hoping for.
Best Man Duties Include:
- Helping the groom choose wedding attire for the groomsmen
- Ensuring that all groomsmen have bought or rent their clothing at least three months in advance
- Attending all pre-wedding events
- Supporting the groom with wedding planning
- Acting as the grooms support system
- Holding the brides ring during the ceremony
- Planning and hosting the bachelor party
- Serving as one of the signers of the marriage license
- Making sure all the groomsmen are in the right place at the right time
- Helping play host during the reception as needed
- Dancing with the maid of honor during the first official dance
- Helping rally the bridesmaids and groomsmen to decorate the getaway vehicle
- Giving a wedding toast to the happy couple at the reception
- Helping collect the presents at the end of the night
- Coordinating transportation to the airport for the couples honeymoon
- Making sure all service providers have received payment and been tipped
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Father & Daughters Dance
The Father & Daughters Dance or the Father Bride Dance is the dance between the father of the bride and the bride. Brides, if you have more than one father in your life, one can tap the other on the shoulder in the middle of the dance so you can dance with both of them. If you dont have a father, a common substitute is a father figure. Even your brother would make a very nice gesture.
What Does The Bride Do
- Find a gorgeous wedding dress that fits you and makes you feel beautiful.
- Pick bridesmaids dresses.
- Organise bridal bouquets, corsages and boutonnières for wedding party.
- If you are taking you grooms surname, file any name-change documentation passport, driving licence, bank details etc.
- Make sure you have something borrowed, something blue, something old and something new if youre feeling traditional!
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The Junior Bridesmaids And Groomsmen
Having junior bridesmaids is a sweet way to include younger female friends and relatives. A junior bridesmaid is a role that is most often filled by a girl who is between 9 and 13 years old. Those asked to be a junior bridesmaid will usually wear a dress to the ceremony that is more age-appropriate, but still similar to the attire of the other bridesmaids. Junior bridesmaids usually do not attend the bachelorette party or have the same financial obligations that are expected of the other bridesmaids.
Boys too young to be groomsmen can also participate as junior groomsmen. They will not attend the bachelor party but will still stand beside the groom at the altar during the wedding ceremony. Being a junior groomsmen is a little less of a commitment, so its the perfect way for younger boys to get involved in the wedding.
Tracking Your Wedding Guest List
It turns out that figuring out who to invite to your wedding is only part of the guest list planning process. Building your wedding guest list also involves creating a document that houses your guests’ names, addresses, gift and hotel information, RSVP, and more. WeddingWire offers a free guest list tool that creates an organized listthere’s even a seating chart tool that can help you group your guests into tables in seconds.
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Finalizing Your Guest Count
Throughout your planning process, you’ve been working with an estimated guest count. After you’ve sent out your wedding invitations and your RSVP deadline hits , you’ll have your final number of people attending. The final guest list has several important functionsyou’ll use it to create your seating chart, escort cards, and place cards, and you’ll want to share it with your wedding planner, venue, caterer, and other vendors to ensure your big day runs smoothly.
What Does A Bridesmaid Do
- Assist bride in picking the bridesmaids dresses and accessories turn up for all appointments and fittings on time and pay for own attire.
- If asked, help the bride choose her perfect wedding dress do not be too opinionated in this process.
- Be the brides errand girls collect bridesmaids dresses, shoes, bridal bouquets, corsages and boutonnières, etc.
- Support the maid of honour in planning the bachelorette party.
- Help with any wedding favours make or collect and ensure they are correct.
- Could be called upon to help decorate the venue.
- Attend the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.
- Walk down the aisle first.
- Check for any items accidentally left by guests at the ceremony venue.
- Be responsible for a few tables each at the reception to check on guests at a regular basis to make sure everyone is happy.
- Mingle with guests to ensure everyone has a good time.
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Dear Abby: Im Upset My Son Isnt Including His 19
Dear Abby
DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away seven years ago. My oldest son, Danny, is 29 and is getting married. He has one brother, Adam, who is 19, and they have always gotten along. Im really upset that Adam wasnt asked to be in the wedding party, at least as a groomsman.
Im sure my husband, if he were alive, would have had a talk with Danny about this — especially because ALL FOUR of my husbands brothers were in our wedding party as well as his best friend. Im upset that I have to bring it to Dannys attention, but I need to address this without making him mad. Whats your opinion? — MATTER OF SCRUPLES
DEAR MATTER: Scruples may have less to do with this than budget restrictions or Adams young age may have. By all means, mention this to Danny but, after that, refrain from meddling. Your wedding was yours this one is Dannys and his fiancees.
DEAR ABBY: Recently, my oldest and dearest friend talked about renting a house in Puerto Rico for her family and mine. We talk often and have remained close over the years. I consider her family a part of my family.
DEAR EXCLUDED: If this is the first time something like this has happened, let it go. If it continues to happen, and I doubt it will, reevaluate the friendship then.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What Does The Father Of The Bride Do
- Help the bride and groom in their guest list compilation, with input from the mother of the bride and the grooms parents.
- Purchase or rent a suit that matches/compliments the grooms wedding party.
- If asked, assist in details of the ceremony and reception ie. caterer, DJ, florist, photographer & videographer, wedding cake baker, etc.
- If invited, attend the bachelor party.
- Assist the bride and groom in the creation of a seating plan, with help from the mother of the bride and the grooms parents.
- Attend the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.
- Ride with bride to the ceremony tell her how beautiful she looks!
- Escort the bride down the aisle on left arm.
- Write father of the bride speech and give speech at reception.
- Dance second dance with the bride.
- Help gather gifts after the reception.
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Maid / Matron / Man Of Honor
The most important wedding role, aside from the bride and groom, is the maid of honor. She will stand directly next to the bride, as her closest friends and supporter. But much more important than that, she will take on a much larger set of responsibilities leading up to the wedding. Such as helping the bride with her wedding day attire, and other wedding planning tasks. Such as hosting a memorable bridal shower and bachelorette party. Delivering an impressing wedding speech and toast. As well as being the go-to person for advice. When asking, or being asked, to take on this role its essential that you understand the full scope of responsibilities.
Whos Who In The Wedding Party: Roles And Responsibilities
Choosing the wedding party can be one of the hardest decisions for brides and/or grooms. Failing to select a friend might lead them to feel hurt, and siblings also may feel the pain of being bumped from the party. Some couples insist that all siblings take part in the wedding in some wayas an attendant, usher or some other special role. Other couples might have tense relations with a sibling or family member and opt not to include them. Friends, cousins, nieces and nephews or perhaps Godchildren, however, are typically top choices for wedding party members and honor attendants.
The Knot 2017 Real Weddings Study revealed that five is the magic number for the wedding party. Brides and grooms reportedly both selectedon averagefive attendants each. While the number of attendants selected can vary significantly, the roles of these attendants are typically the same for most wedding parties. Although, some brides and/or grooms may be a bit more demanding as to what they need from an honor or other attendant. Bridezillas and Groomzillas are real!
If youre planning your wedding and beginning to select your wedding party, heres what you need to know about each attendant and their role in your wedding.
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