Newly Engaged Heres How To Set Up Your Wedding Registry
Newly engaged? Its never too early to start your wedding registry. Whether youve been dreaming of this forever or the task sounds overwhelming this simple how-to guide will help make registering for your wedding gifts a fun process. From etiquette to the most popular places to register, weve got you covered.
Do I Have To Do A Wedding Registry
I’ve been going back and forth on doing a registry, my MOH says I definitely should my FH says no because our family may look at it as we are demanding certain gifts and we won’t be happy if we get something that’s not on the registry and that if we truly want something we can get it ourselves. I look at a registry as a list of ideas our families could get us if they wish to. I’m not big on telling people what I want or what I like when it comes to gifts I generally love what friends and family gift me because I know it comes from a good place. But do you think a registry is essential? What do you think the pros and cons are?
on April 13, 2017 at 7:33 PM
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Things I Wish I Had Put On Our Wedding Registry
Four of my super-amazing and totally-awesome friends are getting married this fall, so Ive been spending a lot of time perusing wedding registries as of lately. It has really taken me back to the excitement and confusion I felt when I was thinking about what to put on our wedding registry .
Back when I got married, I didnt know how to cook. I mean, I could brown hamburger to make spaghetti with meat sauce, but I couldnt saute a chicken breast or even make rice. I didnt know what to put on a wedding registry, and what I really didnt need.
I thought it would be fun to share with you the things I wish I had put on that wedding registry, and what I wish I hadnt purchased. Oddly, all of the items that I wish I didnt own were ones that I bought for myself!
After a wedding, you usually have the option to buy any un-purchased items on your registry at a discount, so I bought a few things that we didnt receive as presents. In hindsight, maybe no one bought them for us because they knew they were a stupid idea.
But, hey, way to go friends and family! You picked out some super awesome stuff ð
Ive split this post into three sections: What I wish I had registered for, what I really didnt need, and what I couldnt live without. Each of the affiliate links below will take you over to Amazon to see the tools I use and love!
Register For Plenty Of Gifts
Be sure to register for more gifts than you have guests. This gives your guests more to choose from, and also makes it possible for them to compile multiple items as one package. It is also a good idea to register for more individual items than sets. Sets tend to be more expensive, and they limit the number of choices available to your guests.
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How To Register For Wedding Gifts
The couple chooses the wedding gifts they want, and then their friends and family can access their list either in-store or online. The wedding registry gift list is typically updated whenever an item from the list is purchased, showing what is still available for guests to buy.
Occasionally couples feel guilty or greedy for making a list of their must-have items and may choose not to create a registry. But a registry is more of a courtesy for wedding guests rather than a list of demands. A wedding registry is a convenient tool for guests to give the couple a gift that they know the couple wants and will use instead of taking a wild guess and risk purchasing something that the couple doesnt like.
Theres no requirement, of course, that a guest has to pick a gift from the couples registry.
Why Must I Have A Registry I Dont Want One
Ask APW: Registry rules and etiquette
Q: My fiancé and I have been engaged for about a year now, and we have fourteen months to go. A lot of stuff is already taken care of, but one topic that has come up recently is asking for gifts. We really do not want stuff. In fact, we just held a yard sale because we already have way too much stuff after having lived together for four years. Really if people feel the need to give us things, the most helpful would be money, especially because we will be moving soon after the wedding. Certainly I am uncomfortable saying just give us cash, and someone suggested just having the mothers of the bride and groom spread the word that we dont want stuff when people call asking for registry information. But the more I talk with people about it, the more people seem to think that actually having a registry is an absolute requirement. What is the protocol on this? I know the point of a registry is to give people a chance to get things you really want and will use, but since there arent things we want and if we would use it we probably already have it, even on the registry I would be picking out things we dont really want. Is it okay to jettison the registry entirely and try to discreetly spread the word not to get us things?
A: Dear Sam,
Your idea to spread the word via moms is perfect, assuming that guests will call your mom. A few of them will. But, Im guessing, most of them wont.
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Why You Dont Need A Wedding Registry
You may have this experience, or something like it, especially if youre in your late twenties or older and getting married: You have everything you need already. Because youre a grown-up. And registering for wedding gifts was a thing created back in the day when most couples got married young and really needed stuff to fill their houses. Since that is no longer the case, many couples these days just feel kind of frivolous putting stuff on their registries.
Ive read and heard many arguments as to why you should just suck it up and register somewhere, even if you dont want anything. Just do it! Your guests are going to buy you something anyway. May as well get something you like!
But I still dont think this is a reason to give-in, especially if you dont believe in the act of just buying stuff for the sake of buying stuff. I think its okay to explain to your guests that you dont believe in unnecessary waste that youre minimalistic, etc whatever the case may be for you.
We explained on our wedding website that we dont want any gifts because we live in a one-bedroom apartment and we literally will not know what to do with your gifts! Basically, if people send us things, were going to have to just give them away! And I think its fine to be honest with your guests like this.
If people are really insisting, direct them to a charity or foundation that you believe in and ask them to donate.
Mistake : Skipping The Fine Print
Read about gifting policies from your preferred retailers as you select items. Confirm that each gift can be shipped to your address, and look into their exchange and return policies. This step is crucialâyou don’t want to be stuck with duplicate gifts, or find out you only have days to exchange items you don’t want.
Plenty of registry sites also have incentive programs and perks, like a discount on the remaining gifts on your list. Some stores will even hold purchased gifts and ship them all at once after the wedding. Since details vary among stores, familiarize yourself with their rules as you go.
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Things You Need To Know About Setting Up An Amazon Registry
With new online wedding registries seemingly popping up left and right the past couple of years , its no surprise that some of the originals are trying to up their game.
Amazon is one of the OGs that have recently undergone a makeover, which is great news to me because their wedding registry was actually one of my favorites even before these new changes went into effect . I decided to give the new Amazon wedding registry a test run today to give you my honest review, below. Let me know what you think in the comment section, and let us know where youre registered!
The Signup Process
While I had somewhat of a difficult time actually locating the Wedding Registry section from Amazon.coms homepage , once youre on the wedding registry page its pretty self-explanatory. To make your life that much easier, just use this link.
You enter in your wedding information and select if you want the wedding registry to be public or private . You can see the fake info I created below. Note that you do have to use an existing Amazon account or create a new one in order to register.
Adding Items to the Wedding Registry
Once youre signed up you can add a photo and start adding items. I started by browsing Amazons Registry Suggestions, which are broken down by categories such as Small Kitchen Appliances, Flatware, etc.
The Purchasing Process
Mistake : Not Registering At All
Registering for wedding gifts isn’t tackyâit’s a vital planning task. While you might feel some wedding registry guilt, remember that guests want to celebrate your love. In fact, a registry list will tip guests off to your secret desire for new throw pillows or a stand mixer that matches your dish towels. If you already have mostly everything you need for the home, register for alternative experiences instead. There are plenty of honeymoon registry sites that allow you to register for experiences on your postwedding vacation, like a couples’ massage or a local excursion. You can also use a cash registry for practical gifts, like cooking classes, money for a home renovation or a puppy fund.
Registry etiquette can also be confusing for various celebrations like a sequel wedding, a postponed wedding or a microwedding. Be sure to register for any kind of ceremony, whether you have a large guest list or you’re only saying “I do” in front of immediate family.
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Where Did Wedding Registries Even Come From
I learned from Hank Green that wedding showers, also called bridal showers, actually have a sort of romantic origin story.
Theyre thought to have started in Europe during the time when dowries were a thing. The brides family used to have to give a certain amount of money to the groom in order for him to accept and marry her. Anyway, one couple fell in love, but the womans family was poor and couldnt afford to pay the dowry. So her friends decided to band together and shower her with gifts and money so that she could marry the man of her dreams! Thus the tradition of the wedding shower began.
And wedding registries first came along in the 1920s when couples could register for items that they wanted at a department store. This process was upgraded when the barcode was invented in the 1970s and then finally to the online registries that we find today, thanks to the internet!
I can only imagine all of the push back over the years from aunties and mothers who thought asking for a particular item was in poor taste. And now a new generation of aunties and mothers is telling young couples that not asking for gifts is in poor taste.
So, yes, wedding etiquette is confusing! And always shifting, and different in every culture, despite the fact that its always presented as a static, never-changing tradition. Thats why we should just do whatever we want
You Cant Even Think Of Anything You Need
How is Unmarried You supposed to figure out what Married You is going to use? For all you know, once youve tied the knot, you may become some new person who wants to start making sous-vide eggs. Or you might not even eat eggs anymore as a married person! You dont have a crystal ball! Oh, but maybe you can register for one?
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You Can Register For More Than Just Household Items
Wedding registries have moved far beyond just household items like china and glassware. Nowadays, you can also register for parts of your honeymoon, sports or theater tickets, fitness classes, camping gear, tech items, wine, and yes, even cash. Sites like WeddingWire Registry can help you easily set up a customized registry that suits your needsand you can even include items from other retail sites if you wish.
How Many Items Should I Put On My Registry
Wondering how many gifts to add to your registry? There’s an easy answer, and it all comes down to simple math. Multiply your guest list by two, and add a few extras. This will give loved ones plenty of options to choose from . Since every guest is working with a different budget, they’ll appreciate having an abundance of choices. Creating a fuller wishlist can also prevent guests from shopping off-registry. Keep in mind that not every gift will be purchasedbut guests will appreciate having lots of wedding registry ideas to browse.
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Start Fresh Or Upgrade
If youve been living on your own for a while and own a lot of housewares already, it may be a good time to swap out the older items for new pieces. Its also a good opportunity for you and your future spouse to pick out items as a couple rather than individually so that your home together truly reflects your personality and style as a married unit.
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