Do I Have To Buy A Wedding Gift For A Destination Wedding
“While there are no hard and fast rules, there is a general understanding that their presence at the wedding can absolutely be their gift. You have to remember that your guests are presumably taking time off from work and arranging childcare, so theyve already invested quite a bit. With that being said, if an attendee chooses to gift them in addition to being there, then thats absolutely fine,” says Carlson.
If you do want to get them a wedding gift but youre strapped for cash right after spending on the flights and hotels, you can always wait until later to get them a wedding gift. Whatever the timing, theyll always appreciate it.
Answers To The Etiquette Questions Plus Gift Inspiration
Weddings are such fun to attend but they can be costly for guests. So, with wedding season in full swing and over 350,000 set to take place this year, money saving and budget expert Jenny McCormac has the best advice for you.
Jenny McCormac from BrandRated has tips on the best etiquette of how much to spend on the happy couple and what to do if you can’t afford to buy a gift at all. Keep reading for gift inspiration.
How Much To Give For A Wedding Gift In 2023
Weddings are symbolic. A wedding day is a gesture of a new beginning for couples about to embark on a life journey. Nevertheless, giving wedding gifts has become an expected, sometimes stressful exchange for many wedding guests. How much to give for a wedding gift as cash or as a physical gift will be explored further based on multiple factors to help you determine what is currently an appropriate-sized gift.
Gift-giving has been a tradition across cultures among wedding guests. While there is no strict rule on what to give and how much to spend, there is an unspoken truth that the wedding gift should be as meaningful as the moments you have shared with the couple. The cost of which depends on the result of the considerations we have laid out for you.
You may feel like giving cash is an impersonal gift, the opposite of what you’re going for as a wedding guest. But, when accounted for correctly and packaged with a purpose, cash can be a thoughtful gift.
A cash wedding gift can even be the best gift for most couples, especially if theyre young as their honeymoon and future savings budgets increase! This also applies if youre an acquaintance who doesnt have enough personal memories with the couple to think of a practical or sentimental gift. So instead of getting the next best thing, opt for a cash wedding gift the more fool-proof option, if you refer to our guide on how much to give for a wedding gift.
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How Much Money Should You Give For A Wedding
About Anouare
Anouare is a seasoned writer, editor and content strategist who started her career as a lifestyle journalist before stepping into leadership roles at publications such as AskMen and Goalcast. From editorial strategy to content marketing and project-management, she has tackled various challenges in digital media and discovered her passion for mentoring others in the process. She loves a good money mindset book and believes you can create your dream lifestyle by being yourself.
At a Glance
Its an age-old question with age-old answers: How much money should you give for a wedding? Regardless of whether you subscribe to the school of thought that a cash gift should at least cover your plate, the numbers are in and expectations appear to have increased.
In 2021, guests spent an average of $160 on a wedding gift, according to The Knots 2021 Real Weddings Study up from $120 in 2019. But couples are also spending more to make sure their guests have an unforgettable time $266 per guest on average, to be precise, up from $214 pre-pandemic.
Donate To The Couple’s Favorite Charity
If you’re not sure how to give cash as a wedding gift, you can always donate to a charity in the couple’s name if they’ve requested it. Some to-be-weds might set up a charity registry through platforms like JustGive or Crowdrise, especially if they don’t want physical gifts. Charity registries are a great alternative to traditional wedding presents, and we highly recommend making a donation if there’s an opportunity. Simply follow the couple’s directions on their wedding website or registry page, and donate any wedding gift amount to the organization of their choice.
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Exceptions To The Rule: Destination Weddings And Older Couples
Katie said couples with destination weddings generally expected less in gifts because they understood their guests had to spend money on travel and accommodation. However, they may still decide to set up wishing wells as options for guests who wanted to give a bit extra, or for those unable to make the trip but still wanting to contribute.
Meanwhile, Katie said she has found couples getting married later in life usually dont expect as much.
Couples from an older age bracket generally expect less from guests, especially if this is a second wedding, she said.
Its not unheard of for these couples to have a wishing well that allows money to be allocated to a charity.
For destination weddings, Monika said she took travel distance and expense required into account when spending on gifts.
I gave differently for a big destination wedding I went to, as I paid to travel to and stay at a resort in Mauritius, so its fair to say my attendance was the main gift. I did give a small present, though, she said.
I also went to a couple of weddings in Bowral and the Hunter Valley, where I paid for accommodation but still ended up gifting around the $150 to $200 mark.
Monika said she had heard horror stories of some over-the-top expectations from wedding couples around how much guests should spend on gifts and travel, but hasnt personally felt too bothered or unable to attend because of cost.
Cover image source: Jacob Lund/Shutterstock.com
What To Put On Your Wedding List
- House gadgets, cookware and furniture this is especially useful if you happen to be moving house and are in need of a lot of new things.
- Artwork and fancy photo frames These are the kind of things that you may have hanging on your wall forevermore. They make wonderful reminders of the occasion.
- Experiences and show tickets Always had a dream to take in a West End show? What better time to make this dream come true then in your first few months of marriage.
- Honeymoon fund Looking to jet off on an exotic honeymoon? Why not help your friends and family to support with the costs of an epic trip.
- Charity donations Many soon-to-weds have a charity that is really close to their hearts and the wedding is another opportunity to help raise funds for its valuable work.
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Should I Buy A Gift If I Cant Attend The Wedding
“Emily Post has always attested to the fact that you should always send a gift if invited unless youve truly been out of touch for a considerable length of time,” says Carlson. “Id like to think, however, that there is absolutely an understanding that if you decline the invitation and are not in a financial position to send a gift, then you dont, and thats OK. Instead, send your warm wishes with a handwritten note.”
If youre a close friend of the couple, its probably best to send a wedding gift. If, on the other hand, your distant cousin invited 300 people to her wedding and you feel like you were invite number 299, a sweet note of congratulations on the RSVP card is sufficient. If you do decide to send a gift, feel free to spend less than you might spend if you were attendingthat $30 wine opener is still a lovely token of congratulations that the couple will surely appreciate.
What Size Wedding Is Considered Intimate
Weddings with guest counts between 20 and 75 are generally considered intimate, although we’ve had them with as few as six guests. While elopements are intimate affairs as well, we tend to use the term intimate wedding to refer to more formalized events with an itinerary and, often, multiple events.
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Should Family Members Give More Money
Relationship to the couple does often factor into the significance of the gift, but again, it should come down to what the guest can afford, Andrews says. No one should be put out financially because a couple chooses to get married.
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Can I Give Cash As A Wedding Gift
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Yes, you can! The world is dynamic, so are people. A lot of couples live together these days before marriage and have their houses well stocked. Others want to bag pack and travel the world, so they dont need gifts. Some couples do not even create a registry but make available cash payment methods.
So yes, you can pay cash and it is very convenient. The best is if youre paying directly into an account or towards a cause like honeymoon packages. Do well to send it in before the wedding.
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Based On The Type Of Wedding
The type of wedding should account for other expenses that are not part of the actual gift. For example, if its a destination wedding where guests have to purchase their tickets, they should not be expected to give an expensive gift. Other than destination weddings, the size of the wedding can also be an indicator. A small and intimate wedding gives the impression that gifts should be more sentimental, while large and more formal celebrations may nudge you to spend more.
How Much Do You Spend On A Wedding Gift
What you give as a wedding present is mostly determined by your relationship with the bride and groom and their family. You’ll want to think about how close you are to the newlyweds before you buy them a gift. Regardless of how close you are to the newlyweds, you should never spend less than $50 on a wedding present. Spend according to the relationship you have with the bride or groom in the following categories:
- $150+ Close Friend or Relative:
- $100-$125 Co-Worker, Distant Family-Friend, or Distant Relative: $50-$100
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Can You Give Cash Or A Check
“Among our brides, is not the right way to go,” Easton admits. And Howser agrees, “I would never tell someone to gift cash, it’s so impersonal. This is a wedding, not a charity gala.” But if you must”I’d never give a check,” Blum explains. “If I’m giving cash, I’m going to give cash, along with a handwritten note.”
It seems buying off the couple’s registry is by far the more cost-effective way to go. “You can give a $200 Le Creuset piece from the registry, but if you’re going to gift cash, it should be a larger amount to feel impactful,” Easton says.
Easton, Blum, and Hamilton all agree that given the impersonal nature of a cash gift, the amount needs to be substantial, to the tune of around $500. Howser recommends not gifting less than $300 if you opt to give a cash gift. The packaging also matters. “If you do give cash, it should be done in a way that’s thoughtful and has a lovely presentation to it. Present it a gorgeous envelope, or maybe have the packaging calligraphed,” Easton suggests.
On the flip side, Hamilton has had a different experience. “People do love cash. A lot of people are living together before the wedding, and so a registry feels really formal nowadays. Maybe people are registering for upgrades to their home, or fine china, but giving someone cash allows them to purchase whatever they’d like or add an upgrade to their honeymoon.”
Is Cash Gifting At Weddings Causing Guest Resentment
Ultimately, its not so much the gifting as the expectation of a cash gift on top of the overall cost of attending a wedding. Cash gifts are now the icing on top of a pretty expensive cake, by the time you factor in hens and bucks, and perhaps travel and overnight accommodation.
Which begs another question
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Do You Need To Buy Something On The Registry
“If you know the couple well enough to find something that’s fabulous off the registry, go for it,” Easton says. “For instance, if they love Portofino and you get them a gorgeous painting, that’s amazing. But don’t do any guesswork. If you are stressed about thinking of what to get, registries are gift-giving made easy.” The couple registered only for things they loved, wanted, or neededit’s best to stick to their wish list.
If you shop the registry too late and find that little you’d gift remains, there are a few ways to approach it. You’ll frequently find that single pieces of a couple’s desired china pattern, glassware set, cookware packages, and objet remain on the registrymeaning that the couple is an item short of some of their favorite things. “I actually think it’s fun to give a hodgepodge,” Blum says. But there’s only one chic way to do that: Pick up all the scraps until they amount to a substantial amount spent, perhaps around $300+, then send a cheeky yet thoughtful note along with the more random assortment.
“If the registry has nothing left on it, gift them a dinner at a fine dining property they love or use the venue as a way to dictate a creative gift off-registry,” Hamilton advises.
Blum takes a more practical approach: a beautifully made wooden salad bowl and servingware. “Couples get more decanters than they know what to do with,” she explains. “This is something they’ll always need, but definitely isn’t anyone’s first choice to gift or register for.”
Wedding Gift Spend Calculator
We’d highly recommend you buy a paper money wallet to put a cash gift into as it makes it look really special. You can get these for about £1 from a card shop, but they really make a difference to how your gift looks.
It’s been traditional for couples to create a wedding gift list or to leave it up to the guests to bring a gift of their choice, and this was typically an item for the couple’s new home. This dates back to when a couple wouldn’t live together before their wedding, which is less likely the case now. Many modern couples live together before they get engaged and already have all the towels and toasters they need, so the traditional gift lists don’t suit them.
Asking for money as a wedding gift has become a popular trend, but it’s understandable that it can split opinion among older relatives who may see it as cheeky or bad etiquette. However, it’s become much more accepted and many couples feel confident asking for money for their wedding or putting down a monetary gift option on a traditional gift list.
They will have spent a lot of savings on their wedding day and the money will be saved towards the next step of their future together. If you always viewed giving a homeware gift as setting the couple up for their new life, money gifts are the modern way to do the same.
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What Is A Gift Registry And How Much Money Should You Spend
Many modern couples are directing guests to online gift registries, where they can either choose from a range of gifts to buy outright or contribute part of the funds toward more expensive goal items the couple have their eyes on.
Department stores like Myer and David Jones offer online gift registries, while there are also a number of online specialist wedding registries popular examples include The Wedding Nest, My Gift Registry and Wedding List Co.
The Wedding Nest founder Katie Burt said the average item on her site was around $350 in cost, due to being mainly contribution items . Dinnerware, bed linen and framed prints were popular on her registry, and she said couples often included an additional wishing well option for people wanting to donate cash.
She said couples usually spent an average of $150 to $250 on her site, and singles between $80 and $150.
As a guide, we usually recommend your total registry value is $80 multiplied by the number of guests, so a wedding with 100 guests should have an $8,000 registry, Katie said.
Is $100 Enough For A Wedding Gift
If you’ve decided on a cash gift, you may be curious to know what amount is appropriate. Is $50 enough for a wedding gift? What about $100? As Post stated above, the right number ultimately depends on what you can realistically afford. Guests are encouraged to use the average cost of a wedding gift$160as a starting point, but should adjust the number based on what they can feasibly afford.
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